stayin alive for others

[Deltawaves74]

stayin alive for someone else. first of all there has to be someone to try to stay alive for, i thought i had that but realisation that im alone and actually i am a burden and people will be happier when ive gone. to realise that when im dead will be kinder to people i knew. they hear and see this battle and u know inside that they are done with you but wont admit it , that my pain is causing them pain and because there is no remedy it will continue to damage me and them. dont want to cause other people to hurt but just me bein here is doin that.

 

[deathisnear]

I have stayed alive for others for years and I have officially hit my breaking point. I didn't want to hurt my family, and I still don't, but I no longer can live for others and I have to think of myself for a change. My pain is causing them pain as well and they worried etc, I feel if I just ctb that it would be better in the end. I've been frustrated for years living for others, hopefully I can put all that aside and just do it soon.

 

[heraclitus23]

Dannyboy12, there is someone to stay alive for - you. Breaking your thoughts down, you care about other people; you are empathic and sensitive, compassionate and generous. In every way you are the very definition of a good person.

People may hurt because you are here (I don't know your situation). Will they hurt any less knowing that your pain was so great?

You are not a burden on anyone here on this forum. We are here for you.

 

[Deltawaves74]

Dannyboy12, there is someone to stay alive for - you. Breaking your thoughts down, you care about other people; you are empathic and sensitive, compassionate and generous. In every way you are the very definition of a good person.

People may hurt because you are here (I don't know your situation). Will they hurt any less knowing that your pain was so great?

You are not a burden on anyone here on this forum. We are here for you.

i appreciate you kind words. there is no way for me thou just too late

 

[WornOutLife]

I can relate.

I can still experience some happiness on my own and I'm really being a responsible and productive human being again but in the end, I haven't ctb yet because I don't want to kill or destroy my dad's life because he's the best and most lovely person I've ever met. (he might have a heart-attack or stroke once he finds out I'm dead)

 

[alown]

absolutely, the others are the reason why I still have not drunk my N.

 

[Hurt]

Yes. That's what keeps me going

 

[Wrennie]

stayin alive for someone else. first of all there has to be someone to try to stay alive for, i thought i had that but realisation that im alone and actually i am a burden and people will be happier when ive gone. to realise that when im dead will be kinder to people i knew. they hear and see this battle and u know inside that they are done with you but wont admit it , that my pain is causing them pain and because there is no remedy it will continue to damage me and them. dont want to cause other people to hurt but just me bein here is doin that.

I can completely relate. Me being alive puts so much pressure and stress on my family because my mental health and physical disabilities prevent me from performing basic tasks and I see it wearing on them - but then if I were to go ahead and die and release them from that burden I know that they'd be devastated. It's a catch 22... we're screwing over our loved ones regardless of what decision we decide to make.

 

[the_final_countdown]

I love my family and know it'll destroy them. But I'm not willing to endure this much agony and pain for their sake.

I'm not living for them. I'm living because I can't drink the poison and I can't find the gun and it's infuriating.

My physical condition is improving in some respects and declining in others. It's too much. I want to rest now and see what happens next. I'm okay with death.

I didn't choose to be born (probably, although who can say). I'd like to awaken to the next stage. I have no qualms about not fulfilling my potential. That's the human condition every day.

 

[RedHarlequin]

I think at some point the pain of living outweighs the damage you will do by leaving people behind. I used to have a lot of guilt, hurting my mother and my partner, but now the pain is just so excruciating that these things matter less and less. I'm still sad I will ruin at least two lives, but living is not an option anymore.

 

[BlankUser]

This is weird. I'm basically only living for my boyfriend (he loves me deeply and my death would destroy him) and my parrot (he would be lonely if I ctb, because I spend most of my time with him). But at the same time I know that my boyfriend would be happier if I never existed, he doesn't deserve to deal with my horrible mental illness, so maybe he will have a chance of a better life if I ctb? And I want to get another bird for my parrot, so he wouldn't be lonely.

 

[FuneralCry]

I would never let others influence my decision whether to stay alive or not - I have no obligations to stay alive as I did not ask to exist. To end my own pain it would pass it on to others, but that is the nature of life. I would never suffer for the sake of others.

 

[heraclitus23]

I would never let others influence my decision whether to stay alive or not - I have no obligations to stay alive as I did not ask to exist. To end my own pain it would pass it on to others, but that is the nature of life. I would never suffer for the sake of others.

That is brutally courageous. Respect.

 

[Largeletters]

The way I see it, I can live for others, but I'm still suicidal, and sometimes all other people do is make things worse anyway.