Starting the process of accepting my journey onward

[avoid_slow_death]

Was nearing a panic attack from the overwhelming stress in my life right now, and then I thought, "My SN!" I pulled it out of its storage place, kissed it and told it, "You're my ticket out of here buddy!"

I'm just saying all this because I feel I have gotten to a point where I am starting to accept the finality of what I want to do. This is an important step and I really need to take as much or as little time as it takes to "feel the right moment" so as to lessen the chances of something going awry.

This actually calmed me down and while I still would love to die right this very second, I realize patience and careful timing and planning are the most critical factors to success in any attempt to CTB.

Hopefully it won't be too much longer for me because I don't want things to get even worse, which I know they are going to. I want to be gone before life decides to make things even more impossible than it already is....

God I want to go soon.....

 

[catch99]

It would be pretty amazing if you could just take a drug and be dead, but I think SN is quite a bit over glorified on this forum. Have you considered what you'll do if you fail? What if you end up with permanent disabilities as a result of your failed attempt? What if you end up blind or in a coma? Also, 4 hours seems like a pretty slow death to me.

The thought of death may be a comforting one but it's also very unhealthy and although I don't know your situation, I'm sure you can work through it. Try everything you can to turn your life around and even if you still decide to CTB, SN isn't a good way to go.

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

It would be pretty amazing if you could just take a drug and be dead, but I think SN is quite a bit over glorified on this forum. Have you considered what you'll do if you fail? What if you end up with permanent disabilities as a result of your failed attempt? What if you end up blind or in a coma? Also, 4 hours seems like a pretty slow death to me.

The thought of death may be a comforting one but it's also very unhealthy and although I don't know your situation, I'm sure you can work through it. Try everything you can to turn your life around and even if you still decide to CTB, SN isn't a good way to go.