KadathianStr1d3r
Shattered Mannequin
- Nov 21, 2018
- 278
Dont know anymore on what to do, everyday I become less & less of a human, everybody around me treating me closer & closer to a retarded computer husk of meat.
I feel so lonely, shutting in I close myself in, creeping does the cold automated world busts in, I have no where else to here in this state, I keep seeing my only chances of survival if I were to take up the gun and sell myself to conflicts abroad betraying morality for blood money.
Really sorry for that, just me being weird, anyways Just wanna ask you guy's opinion and I wanna know how fucked i am when i tell you my situation?
I am 23, I have intellectual disabilities as well as some physical disabilities, I am of a extreme ethnic minority background living in a state where I can never relate, I have severe mental illnesses that desperately in my opinion need some form of surgery to cure and when I mean nobody I mean nobody wants to give me the surgery! My family is heavily against it and my mom just wants me to be a slave to medication and become fucked up like her, my dad lives on another world, hes crazy.
Okay nvm, im going too long here ill just simplify things, basically Im mentall ill/somewhat disabled, living in a econmically shite area, surrounded by shite people, have shite worth of skills to move on as well as shite self esteem and cant seem to live a day without the thought of wanting to blow my fucking brains out because of shite LIFE is and no this isnt very revent either, it has been happening for the past 10 years.
Sorry for the long rant...............
I feel so lonely, shutting in I close myself in, creeping does the cold automated world busts in, I have no where else to here in this state, I keep seeing my only chances of survival if I were to take up the gun and sell myself to conflicts abroad betraying morality for blood money.
Really sorry for that, just me being weird, anyways Just wanna ask you guy's opinion and I wanna know how fucked i am when i tell you my situation?
I am 23, I have intellectual disabilities as well as some physical disabilities, I am of a extreme ethnic minority background living in a state where I can never relate, I have severe mental illnesses that desperately in my opinion need some form of surgery to cure and when I mean nobody I mean nobody wants to give me the surgery! My family is heavily against it and my mom just wants me to be a slave to medication and become fucked up like her, my dad lives on another world, hes crazy.
Okay nvm, im going too long here ill just simplify things, basically Im mentall ill/somewhat disabled, living in a econmically shite area, surrounded by shite people, have shite worth of skills to move on as well as shite self esteem and cant seem to live a day without the thought of wanting to blow my fucking brains out because of shite LIFE is and no this isnt very revent either, it has been happening for the past 10 years.
Sorry for the long rant...............
