dope?
as far as any helpful advice, I have none. all I can offer is sympathy and empathy, as addiction has been a common theme in my life for a long time. I've got shit somewhat under control at this point, there's a sustainable balance (maybe) that I feel like I've achieved.
But the thoughts and feelings never go away, I've only gotten slightly better at ignoring them. always looming, watching. i constantly have to keep myself in check. i won't lie to you, it's exhausting.
I don't know what to tell you. I'd never suggest turning to religion or some shit though, I've witnessed that. you're just trading one addiction for another.
All I can say is that it's gotten a little easier over time, the more time my body has to recover, the more reinforcement and physical confirmation I have that my body and mind feel less awful. The final push I needed in order to get my shit under control was hitting rock fucking bottom. Maybe that's what it takes, I don't know. There were so many factors and issues that were at play in my case
At the end of the day, none of us can tell you what you need to do. one single solution doesn't apply to every case, and hell, I would hardly call my style a solition. a bandaid maybe
I'm probably spewing nonsense stream of consciousness bullshit at this point. So im just gonna say that I feel for you, man. I really do. I'm sorry you are in pain and I hope you figure out what you need to do to ease your suffering.
