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dogteeth

dogteeth

Member
Jun 10, 2024
9
hey all

Im desperate at this point to ctb, ive had multiple failed overdose attempts with prescription medication and attempts at hanging and all have been very painful and honestly just embarrassing. Because of living in new zealand guns are definitely not an option, and it is almost impossible for me to find ANYWHERE that would sell me SN or anything like that. My preferred method would be fent/opiates but those are also extremely uncommon in new zealand, ive tried looking for plugs but cant find anyone that sells anything more than just grassšŸ˜­ deep web was very complicated for me, im not too smart haha and im not sure how to use it plus am kinda scared to after hearing a few horror stories involving it haha. I have considered jumping off a building or in front of a train but im honestly not sure if ill be able to physically force my body to be able to jump. i dont even have a car or a garage so cant use co2 method. i know 100% i want to ctb i just really dont want to risk waking up in hospital again i dont know what to do. any help appreciated i am desperate :(
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
35,287
It's really so incredibly cruel and hellish to me how people cannot just have the option to die in a painless way whenever they wish to, I also feel trapped in this existence because of lack of access to reliable methods. But anyway best wishes, I hope that you eventually find freedom from your suffering, it sounds so dreadful what you've been through, I find it so horrible how people have to struggle so much to die, I really wish there's the option to just easily die in peace.
 
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Linda

Linda

Member
Jul 30, 2020
1,687
There are some big mountains in the South Island. I nearly lost my life once while moutaineering (accidentally I mean - I wasn't trying to ctb), and I lost a friend in a different incident. Use your imagination.
 
babyharpseal

babyharpseal

Member
Jun 15, 2024
46
an idea i considered is bunch of sleeping pills, go for a swim somewhere secluded, eventually black out n drown while unconscious. its easy to get sleeping pills, just tell dr ur gonna travel overseas n want it to help w jetlag, or u have bad insomnia or smthn. but dont quote me on this method bc i havent read abt anyone testing it, just thought it up on my own. idk if u could wake up from panic even while drugged, maybe theres answers on this forum
 
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Onelegman

Onelegman

I use a translator
May 24, 2024
553
hey all

Im desperate at this point to ctb, ive had multiple failed overdose attempts with prescription medication and attempts at hanging and all have been very painful and honestly just embarrassing. Because of living in new zealand guns are definitely not an option, and it is almost impossible for me to find ANYWHERE that would sell me SN or anything like that. My preferred method would be fent/opiates but those are also extremely uncommon in new zealand, ive tried looking for plugs but cant find anyone that sells anything more than just grassšŸ˜­ deep web was very complicated for me, im not too smart haha and im not sure how to use it plus am kinda scared to after hearing a few horror stories involving it haha. I have considered jumping off a building or in front of a train but im honestly not sure if ill be able to physically force my body to be able to jump. i dont even have a car or a garage so cant use co2 method. i know 100% i want to ctb i just really dont want to risk waking up in hospital again i dont know what to do. any help appreciated i am desperate :(
You should try here:


It's a pain to live in countries that are so... "safe" for these things. Unfortunately I live in the antipodes and I can't help you more.
 
phersper

phersper

F*ck psychiatry
Jun 28, 2023
166
an idea i considered is bunch of sleeping pills, go for a swim somewhere secluded, eventually black out n drown while unconscious. its easy to get sleeping pills, just tell dr ur gonna travel overseas n want it to help w jetlag, or u have bad insomnia or smthn. but dont quote me on this method bc i havent read abt anyone testing it, just thought it up on my own. idk if u could wake up from panic even while drugged, maybe theres answers on this forum
That's exactly what I plan on doing. Are you a good swimmer? Are you comfortable in water? That's something to take into consideration. Plus, you need to make sure to have a big quantity of sedatives, if not a lot make sure to have some heavy stuff. I'll probably go with a mix of fent, oxy, benz, z drugs taken 5 minutes prior to enter the water and gently start to swim as far as possible.
 
M

Marshy63

Member
Mar 1, 2024
13
It's really so incredibly cruel and hellish to me how people cannot just have the option to die in a painless way whenever they wish to, I also feel trapped in this existence because of lack of access to reliable methods. But anyway best wishes, I hope that you eventually find freedom from your suffering, it sounds so dreadful what you've been through, I find it so horrible how people have to struggle so much to die, I really wish there's the option to just easily die in peace.
I agree, it's so unbelievably frustrating and cruel
 
G

golightly

Member
Jul 4, 2024
6
hey all

Im desperate at this point to ctb, ive had multiple failed overdose attempts with prescription medication and attempts at hanging and all have been very painful and honestly just embarrassing. Because of living in new zealand guns are definitely not an option, and it is almost impossible for me to find ANYWHERE that would sell me SN or anything like that. My preferred method would be fent/opiates but those are also extremely uncommon in new zealand, ive tried looking for plugs but cant find anyone that sells anything more than just grassšŸ˜­ deep web was very complicated for me, im not too smart haha and im not sure how to use it plus am kinda scared to after hearing a few horror stories involving it haha. I have considered jumping off a building or in front of a train but im honestly not sure if ill be able to physically force my body to be able to jump. i dont even have a car or a garage so cant use co2 method. i know 100% i want to ctb i just really dont want to risk waking up in hospital again i dont know what to do. any help appreciated i am desperate :(
Hey I live in Auckland. Trying to find SN but the place I found u have to have a business to buy it :(
Any luck/update for u?
 
dogteeth

dogteeth

Member
Jun 10, 2024
9
Hey I live in Auckland. Trying to find SN but the place I found u have to have a business to buy it :(
Any luck/update for u?
unfortunately ive had the exact same issue with sn :( please let me know if you end up finding a source because i really dont know what to do at this point :(
 

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