Thisgirlwantstosleep
A pointless life had in a pointless world
- Mar 11, 2019
- 129
Firstly I'm writing a book extensively outlining my reasons for killing myself. Going to try and laminate it too in case any family members try to rip it up on a whim as to erase guilt.
I'm also going to write a series of letters, mainly to my dad and his family stating their hypocrisy and the fact I neither want them at my funeral nor do I expect them to mourn my death.
They're all a line of narcissists, who never really bothered with my existence. I've never so much as received a happy birthday from them over the years, if they even know when my birthday is, so why should they be able to cry for me?
What are they crying for? Who do you miss? It's not like they knew me. It's not like they cared.
The last time I spoke to a family member of my dad's she was arguing with me that I'm autistic, even though it was clearly making me uncomfortable and she doesn't even know me to make such an assumption.
I'll probably go down as being a massive bitch but I don't care. These people are crooked. All I ever wanted in life was to people to hear me and in all my years of living that's never happened. They will hear me once I'm dead though.
Every painful thing anyone has said or done to me, like when my auntie told me she hopes her child doesn't grow up to be like me. Or when my landlord auntie refused to write a reference for me. Every time I was called a retard, spastic, weirdo, stupid or bitch. Why must they be there?
The only people who need to be there are my mum, sister and younger brother.
I don't really care about what anyone else does and there's certain people, like my dad and his family, who I do not want to attend at all.
I want my simple ceremony where I'm cremated and then I'm forgotten about. That's it. Don't think, don't dwell and don't have the audacity to be angry or question my decision. Don't ask why because if you want to know why it's written in the book.
I killed myself to be free, let me be free.
I'm also going to write a series of letters, mainly to my dad and his family stating their hypocrisy and the fact I neither want them at my funeral nor do I expect them to mourn my death.
They're all a line of narcissists, who never really bothered with my existence. I've never so much as received a happy birthday from them over the years, if they even know when my birthday is, so why should they be able to cry for me?
What are they crying for? Who do you miss? It's not like they knew me. It's not like they cared.
The last time I spoke to a family member of my dad's she was arguing with me that I'm autistic, even though it was clearly making me uncomfortable and she doesn't even know me to make such an assumption.
I'll probably go down as being a massive bitch but I don't care. These people are crooked. All I ever wanted in life was to people to hear me and in all my years of living that's never happened. They will hear me once I'm dead though.
Every painful thing anyone has said or done to me, like when my auntie told me she hopes her child doesn't grow up to be like me. Or when my landlord auntie refused to write a reference for me. Every time I was called a retard, spastic, weirdo, stupid or bitch. Why must they be there?
The only people who need to be there are my mum, sister and younger brother.
I don't really care about what anyone else does and there's certain people, like my dad and his family, who I do not want to attend at all.
I want my simple ceremony where I'm cremated and then I'm forgotten about. That's it. Don't think, don't dwell and don't have the audacity to be angry or question my decision. Don't ask why because if you want to know why it's written in the book.
I killed myself to be free, let me be free.
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