I don't have one and I probably won't plan or state an exact date. But I hope I can manage it before this coming summer ends, I wanted to do it this past winter so that I wouldn't have to worry about the increased consequence of a heated, rotting corpse (chances are, I may not be discovered for awhile)..but too much was not in place then, and still isn't, mainly because other people in my life are not cooperating to allow me control over parts of myself that they are in possession of (things I want gone from their grasp, and in general, before I'm dead and can't do anything about it).
I am SO exhausted and already petrified of what I must do to end my misery, how I must swallow the SN and feel the poison shut me down slowly (I don't have access to an instantaneous method I'm comfortable with). I'm becoming pretty fucking enraged that after I have had such a sorry excuse for a life, grieved what could have/should have/would have been, all the ifs and regret..and have destroyed myself begging for certain requests to be met, trying already to meet so many on my own, that other people far better off than I am are causing me such a hellish hassle, shackling me to this existence longer than should be the case.
I honestly see why some suicidal people become violent when they are suffocated between a rock and a hard place, no way out..only thing to do is to attack.
I'm tired of internalizing so many horrible memories, worries, and present struggles/traumas...I want to shout and scream and be heard, I want to inflict what I have been afflicted with, I am fucking angry now. I am incredibly sad, and I am numb at times, but pure hatred and anger are becoming more common as I plead to the empty air to end this nightmare and get me the hell "out of here".