Overdose: The worst idea

[ExhaustedExistence]

I was really desperate and I had no other option. So I bought some pills for pain, anti-vomiting pills and sleeping pills. All of these were without a prescription, so they weren't effective at all. Then I bought some kind of vodka and also another bottle of booze with 40% alcohol.

My plan was taking 100 pills and drinking one whole bottle of alcohol. But I was able to swallow only 10 pills for pain and 10 "anti-vomiting" pills, so in total just 20 pills. I didn't even take the sleeping pills, because I was already sleepy. I drank only half bottle of vodka mixed with juice. I was drunk too early, so I couldn't swallow more pills. Then I just stopped consuming the drugs.

Obviously I failed. It was really bad idea. I know I'm stupid, so you don't have to tell me this. I was vomiting ALL NIGHT. And when I wasn't even able to vomit I had to drink something in order to vomit because I couldn't breathe. My stomach is quite fucked up now. I'm an idiot.

I don't even know if it counts as an attempt, because I knew it won't work. I should have listened to you. I shouldn't have done that. But I did and now I know overdose won't be my method anymore. I wouldn't recommend overdose to anybody. I have to find a better method (SN or N probably). But now I'm trying to give life another shot.

Feel free to share any experiences with overdose. I would really appreciate it.

 

[motel rooms]

At least you didn't end up in the hospital & your mother doesn't know that you tried to ctb...

 

[ExhaustedExistence]

At least you didn't end up in the hospital & your mother doesn't know that you tried to ctb...

Right. At least something "positive".

 

[Bullit]

I heard about some broad who murdered her husband by giving him an otc drug. But it was long and painful and miserable. Be smart,don't do this to yourself.

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds so awful what you have been through. Honestly without these threads telling me about how people have failed, I would have probably taken loads of random pills myself. I know it is a bad idea now.

 

[LansJ70]

I heard about some broad who murdered her husband by giving him an otc drug. But it was long and painful and miserable. Be smart,don't do this to yourself.

There are 2 I can remember - 1 was a woman who put SN on her husbands sandwiches, he became ill at work and died, and inititally they said cardiac arrest, until I think she tols someone else and they spilled the beans.

The other was some kind of eye drops available in the US - is it visine or something? She poured a whole bottle into his bedside water then tried to claim he had a heart attack, but their previous fallings out prompted more investigation and she was caught.

Or something like that.

 

[Bullit]

While were at it,don't jump in front of a train!

 

[EraseRewind]

I can vouch for the pain and the f'ed stomach, I took 120 paracetamol in a couple of hours with just water. I kept them down until about midnight then everything came back up, 6 hours of vomiting and 6 days on a drip. Torn stomach muscles, eroded throat and stomach ulcered, but the pain is something I'll never forget.

Like to op said unplanned and in total despair, plus a total failure.

I will not make that mistake again.

 

[WornOutLife]

I know dear, it wasn't a good idea but sometimes desperation makes us do this stuff.
The important thing here is that you were lucky not to end up in a psych ward and have probably learnt from your mistakes.

If we're gonna try to ctb, we gotta look a more effective way and think of every single consequence of failing.

For instance, if I fail to ctb again, I'll really end up in a psych ward and will probably lose my mind for real!

 

[ExhaustedExistence]

I know dear, it wasn't a good idea but sometimes desperation makes us do this stuff.
The important thing here is that you were lucky not to end up in a psych ward and have probably learnt from your mistakes.

If we're gonna try to ctb, we gotta look a more effective way and think of every single consequence of failing.

For instance, if I fail to ctb again, I'll really end up in a psych ward and will probably lose my mind for real!

Thanks for your kind words (as always).

Yeah, I'm quite lucky because nobody knows about it (except for you). So everything will be "alright".

I don't know if I learnt from my mistakes, but now I know overdose definitely won't be my further method.

Hope some new awesome method will appear soon. Like some marvelous pill you have to swallow and you will just die in sleep. Sounds so peaceful... and unrealistic.

 

[BlankUser]

I overdosed a few times. I knew it's not gonna kill me, I just wanted to harm myself.

 

[Wrennie]

There are 2 I can remember - 1 was a woman who put SN on her husbands sandwiches, he became ill at work and died, and inititally they said cardiac arrest, until I think she tols someone else and they spilled the beans.

The other was some kind of eye drops available in the US - is it visine or something? She poured a whole bottle into his bedside water then tried to claim he had a heart attack, but their previous fallings out prompted more investigation and she was caught.

Or something like that.

Hold up - eye drops can kill you if ingested? Might it be something worth trying?

 

[BaronVon]

I can vouch for the pain and the f'ed stomach, I took 120 paracetamol in a couple of hours with just water. I kept them down until about midnight then everything came back up, 6 hours of vomiting and 6 days on a drip. Torn stomach muscles, eroded throat and stomach ulcered, but the pain is something I'll never forget.

Like to op said unplanned and in total despair, plus a total failure.

I will not make that mistake again.

Did the exact same with the exat same results ...this is not a good method

 

[Sensei]

But now I'm trying to give life another shot.

Maybe this is a turning point in your life. Who knows, maybe you'll look back on this as the best thing that has happened to you.

 

[laserfocus111]

an overdose needs to be planned properly.

Paracetamol and benzos are hardly surefire ways to get it done.

 

[ExhaustedExistence]

Maybe this is a turning point in your life. Who knows, maybe you'll look back on this as the best thing that has happened to you.

Well, I think I will just regret that I didn't kill myself sooner. But maybe you are right.

 

[AloeGarten]

tried to od on sleeping pills a few times, but every time i got so delerious i couldnt tell reality from hallucination. at that point i started to od for fun just for the trip, destroying my body slowly. i dont do that stuff much anymore but people died from the doses i took, guess im 'lucky' to be here