new year, same monotonous slog

[milquetoast]

i have like a ton of work to do for college and i've barely done anything, i feel like shit for not doing my work especially on parts i was supposed to do on a bunch of activities with groupwork. i just feel so empty, had some people ask me if i'm doing alright and it makes me feel wrong somehow, like that worry would be better put somewhere else and lately it feels easier to be alone despite my hatred of being alone if that makes sense.

i always feel tired and sluggish, and i can't even bring myself to eat small meals anymore, and if i did try to eat i'd have to constantly fight a gag reflex as i would feel bloated for eating or eat only a small bit of the food and put it aside for leftovers or my cats, like how do people bring themselves to eating food especially larger portions?

 

[Juleee]

Are you able to ask your professors for extensions?

How are you feeling today?

 

[milquetoast]

Are you able to ask your professors for extensions?

thanks for replying! i was able to ask some of my professors for extensions which really helped since its currently our finals week, but other than that i have to push through with other things i need to do. i'm kinda tired with my lack of motivation lately aha

as for how i'm feeling, i think i'm fine?

 

[Celerity]

The New Year is the absolute worse time of year for me. It's just a huge reminder on everything I haven't done. I do not see it as a period of renewal in the slightest.

 

[milquetoast]

The New Year is the absolute worse time of year for me. It's just a huge reminder on everything I haven't done. I do not see it as a period of renewal in the slightest.

yeah i get that, i don't even get the whole celebration aspect of it either

 

[penguinl0v3s]

i have like a ton of work to do for college and i've barely done anything, i feel like shit for not doing my work especially on parts i was supposed to do on a bunch of activities with groupwork. i just feel so empty, had some people ask me if i'm doing alright and it makes me feel wrong somehow, like that worry would be better put somewhere else and lately it feels easier to be alone despite my hatred of being alone if that makes sense.

i always feel tired and sluggish, and i can't even bring myself to eat small meals anymore, and if i did try to eat i'd have to constantly fight a gag reflex as i would feel bloated for eating or eat only a small bit of the food and put it aside for leftovers or my cats, like how do people bring themselves to eating food especially larger portions?

It's okay to feel that way because depression makes it exponentially harder. I get what you mean about it being easier to deal with things alone, I'm the same. The easiest thing to do is to say that you're okay, and leave it at that, and people will eventually give up asking. Or, if you're close friends, tell them you don't like it when they ask.

I had that gagging symptom too, but with anxiety. It was the strong taste and smell that got to me, maybe even the texture. Eventually, I found that I could tolerate carrots, because they were so tasteless and the texture was firm. I also tolerated apples. I ended up only eating low ingredient meals and basically mono-dieting. Have you tried to do something similar before?

 

[MyLuckyStars]

doing things is hard. at least, for people like us. hard to explain to people without feeling like a little kid though

 

[milquetoast]

doing things is hard. at least, for people like us. hard to explain to people without feeling like a little kid though

yeah, its so hard to explain murky emotions to other people and even then there's the worry of saying too much that i'd feel like i'll bring their mood down or feel like a spoiled kid throwing a tantrum, so the best thing i can do is just to sugarcoat things and keep it buried.

I had that gagging symptom too, but with anxiety. It was the strong taste and smell that got to me, maybe even the texture. Eventually, I found that I could tolerate carrots, because they were so tasteless and the texture was firm. I also tolerated apples. I ended up only eating low ingredient meals and basically mono-dieting. Have you tried to do something similar before?

i have tried eating lighter meals or even just soups and they're mostly fine for me as long as i don't eat too much. so far that's all i've been eating to not worry my mother too much. although i think i do need to eat more eventually because i'm around 35 kilos already aha

 

[penguinl0v3s]

i have tried eating lighter meals or even just soups and they're mostly fine for me as long as i don't eat too much. so far that's all i've been eating to not worry my mother too much. although i think i do need to eat more eventually because i'm around 35 kilos already aha

There are some really caloric heavy stuff if you need weight first and health more secondary. Alcohol and cake. Peanut butter is the highest calorie food I know.