LetMeDieInPeace
Member
- May 29, 2020
- 20
so 4 years ago i dropped out of high school because of my depression and went to a mental health facility and stayed there for about 3 weeks. i tried like 3-4 different medications but none seemed to work. they set me up with some councilor when i got back home then they stopped seeing me after about 1-2 weeks and i havent seen anyone since. i also stopped taking my medication 3 years ago because it wasnt really doing anything besides making me overweight which made me ever more depressed.
when i turned 18 my mom told me that id have to go back to school or i would have to go find somewhere else to live. so i went back to school to try to get the rest of my credits. i often found myself skipping school a lot and using the excuse that my alarm didnt go off so i could stay home to play video games. i almost always skipped school when my mom had work the same time i went to school and was done when i was done school so she couldn't drive me. sometime around last year i was 4 credits away from getting my diploma but i just couldnt focus in classes. my thoughts were always consuming me if i wasnt playing video games. i never got the rest of my credits but still attended my graduation but they never handed out diplomas to you because of covid. i never felt like such a fraud in my entire life.
im scared to tell my mom that i never got my credits because i fear that she will tell me to go find somewhere else to live. the thing is i have no one to turn to. no family or friends to turn to so in my mind i think i will become homeless. i live in a small town in quebec and cant find a job anywhere here. i had a job at a convenience store in 2018 but i absolutely hated it. i hate socializing with people. a large majority of the time the customers are assholes and i couldnt stand it and i couldnt push myself to quit. i dreaded every second i was working. it felt like hell to me. if anyone works in this type of field, i salute you. the reason why i stopped working there was because it was a summer job so it only lasted 3 months. there's a spot open there again but i just cant push myself to bring in my resume. i cant move out because i dont know how i would support myself financially due to the limited amount of jobs here. also, theres no places for rent. i would love to move to ontario but i always hear that its expensive to live there and i wouldnt want to move anywhere else in quebec because i dont speak french. i cant use the excuse of applying to college because eventually my mom will find out i didnt graduate high school. i dont know what to do anymore.
im probably gonna write about more stuff tomorrow. its 7:22am and im pretty tired
when i turned 18 my mom told me that id have to go back to school or i would have to go find somewhere else to live. so i went back to school to try to get the rest of my credits. i often found myself skipping school a lot and using the excuse that my alarm didnt go off so i could stay home to play video games. i almost always skipped school when my mom had work the same time i went to school and was done when i was done school so she couldn't drive me. sometime around last year i was 4 credits away from getting my diploma but i just couldnt focus in classes. my thoughts were always consuming me if i wasnt playing video games. i never got the rest of my credits but still attended my graduation but they never handed out diplomas to you because of covid. i never felt like such a fraud in my entire life.
im scared to tell my mom that i never got my credits because i fear that she will tell me to go find somewhere else to live. the thing is i have no one to turn to. no family or friends to turn to so in my mind i think i will become homeless. i live in a small town in quebec and cant find a job anywhere here. i had a job at a convenience store in 2018 but i absolutely hated it. i hate socializing with people. a large majority of the time the customers are assholes and i couldnt stand it and i couldnt push myself to quit. i dreaded every second i was working. it felt like hell to me. if anyone works in this type of field, i salute you. the reason why i stopped working there was because it was a summer job so it only lasted 3 months. there's a spot open there again but i just cant push myself to bring in my resume. i cant move out because i dont know how i would support myself financially due to the limited amount of jobs here. also, theres no places for rent. i would love to move to ontario but i always hear that its expensive to live there and i wouldnt want to move anywhere else in quebec because i dont speak french. i cant use the excuse of applying to college because eventually my mom will find out i didnt graduate high school. i dont know what to do anymore.
im probably gonna write about more stuff tomorrow. its 7:22am and im pretty tired
