Joey
Enlightened
- Jun 14, 2020
- 1,432
I'm sorry everyone.. This is going to be my Suicide note.
I wish I would've been a better person. It seems like that I've let everyone in my life down and even my own parents. I know deep down that they're secretly disappointed in me on the type of person I've become. An immature 27 year old that's stuck in a shit job and feel worthless in his life.
I did alright in school and honestly, some of it was good times of my life. I wish I would've done better because I wouldn't be in the situation that I'm in currently. The job I'm in is just plain shit and has no future whatsoever and the wage is far from livable.
I used to live as a NEET for a couple of years because I was too afraid to face reality. Funny thing was though that those moments were the greatest times of my life and I've met some amazing ass friends on PS3 and PS4. Even on the Nintendo Switch.
I've always lived my life with mental health issues and when it came to depression, I knew I would get help and get on the right medication.
Back during September 2020, I've ran away from home and ended up on the news. I was gone for over 36 hours. I don't know why the fuck I did what I did but I wasn't in the right state of mind. I ended up in the psychiatric ward for 2 weeks and ended up paying $52,000. Yeah I ain't bothering to ask for help.
I've lost a close friend recently and I lied to her and she wants nothing to do with me. She would always check up on me to make sure that I was okay and was a good friend. She pushed me away and now I got nobody. I'm sorry Megan. I shouldn't have done that too you...
She was right all a long on giving me good advice but I was to stone-headed to listen and started following my own path which was full of depression and loneliness. You can't help someone who doesn't want to help themselves and that's something that I deeply regret.
For a couple of friendships that I've ruined here...I'm sorry for doing what I did too you and I wish I could've fixed it but it's sometimes hard to let go. They both want nothing to do with me and it sucks worrying about it all the time because it does more harm than good.
Im 27 right now and don't even have my life together. My Dad is always hanging onto my money and both my parents think I'm too immature to handle it which I'm not and told them many times that I want to gain control back. If I didn't cooperate with them, they threatened to kick me out..
The other day I told my Step Mom that I want to commit suicide and she was like "go ahead." Maybe it's better if I fulfill her promise and I don't have to worry about feeling like a worthless piece of shit all the time.
I got my SN ready and once June 13th most likely hits, I'm closing the curtain that's called life.
The good times however....MAN were they good!
I don't know what lies on the other side but I'm ready to face it. For all we know, there's no life after death. But if there's a way for me too, I'll send you all as many blessings as I can from the other side
Well that's my cue, time to live out the last remaining weeks of my life.
I wish I would've been a better person. It seems like that I've let everyone in my life down and even my own parents. I know deep down that they're secretly disappointed in me on the type of person I've become. An immature 27 year old that's stuck in a shit job and feel worthless in his life.
I did alright in school and honestly, some of it was good times of my life. I wish I would've done better because I wouldn't be in the situation that I'm in currently. The job I'm in is just plain shit and has no future whatsoever and the wage is far from livable.
I used to live as a NEET for a couple of years because I was too afraid to face reality. Funny thing was though that those moments were the greatest times of my life and I've met some amazing ass friends on PS3 and PS4. Even on the Nintendo Switch.
I've always lived my life with mental health issues and when it came to depression, I knew I would get help and get on the right medication.
Back during September 2020, I've ran away from home and ended up on the news. I was gone for over 36 hours. I don't know why the fuck I did what I did but I wasn't in the right state of mind. I ended up in the psychiatric ward for 2 weeks and ended up paying $52,000. Yeah I ain't bothering to ask for help.
I've lost a close friend recently and I lied to her and she wants nothing to do with me. She would always check up on me to make sure that I was okay and was a good friend. She pushed me away and now I got nobody. I'm sorry Megan. I shouldn't have done that too you...
She was right all a long on giving me good advice but I was to stone-headed to listen and started following my own path which was full of depression and loneliness. You can't help someone who doesn't want to help themselves and that's something that I deeply regret.
For a couple of friendships that I've ruined here...I'm sorry for doing what I did too you and I wish I could've fixed it but it's sometimes hard to let go. They both want nothing to do with me and it sucks worrying about it all the time because it does more harm than good.
Im 27 right now and don't even have my life together. My Dad is always hanging onto my money and both my parents think I'm too immature to handle it which I'm not and told them many times that I want to gain control back. If I didn't cooperate with them, they threatened to kick me out..
The other day I told my Step Mom that I want to commit suicide and she was like "go ahead." Maybe it's better if I fulfill her promise and I don't have to worry about feeling like a worthless piece of shit all the time.
I got my SN ready and once June 13th most likely hits, I'm closing the curtain that's called life.
The good times however....MAN were they good!
I don't know what lies on the other side but I'm ready to face it. For all we know, there's no life after death. But if there's a way for me too, I'll send you all as many blessings as I can from the other side
Well that's my cue, time to live out the last remaining weeks of my life.
