Surai
its all too much and there's nothing left
- Mar 26, 2024
- 307
memories tear, through our hearts. like jagged metal stretching upward. and torn buildings, stripped of their skins. where rocks tumble by the weight of themselves. where skys are filled with smoke and ash. where some stare into a funnel or a spiral. Where life is so raw and real. And those memories are so raw and real. This mallable cells in my head. That form and shape into weeds that take everything. Take everything I thought I had kept. Until I forget. And remember again. We feel so alone, when all we are surounded by suffering. Where we arent the only ones. I know we arent the only ones. That tear themselves apart trying to understand it all. To understand it all. To understand it all. But what good is a wish, when All I have is what is in front of me. I can float into the air all draped in cloth. And maybe feel something on the way down. Is this what this is. Falling down. It was always our bodies falling since we had realised we had finally seen the ground we were landing on. Blurry Oh how much I had hoped for it to be at least blurry peering through that water. When I forced myself to forget. But it finds a way. It always finds a way to clear itself up again. And pokes and prods. And it shows itself like a swollen thumb. Just to make sure we remember, ALL of the things we wanted to forget. Im sorry we had to experience this. Im sorry all of this horrible iron clad mallet. Thomping at our heads. Looping back around. And destroying. What was left, if anything was left. Because I dont think there is anything left. I dont feel there is anything left. There wasnt anything ever. I was just filling, with anything I could find, blaming myself when it emptied going back again trying anything, anything at all to keep it full, when the bucket had a hole in the bottom. How can it keep getting worse, Ive fallen through that hole at the bottom. To create and destroy but I cant seem to destroy. I cant get these horrible memories out. These horrible memories that want to stay. If only there was a way we could forget. So ill do what I can twisting and tearing at them stretching them upwards. In an array of flowers. To forget. To forget and sleep and sleep and fall. like a leaf in its almost final resting place before it gets thrown around by the wind again. But rest for whatever moment we get. and Ill take what I can get. fill my bucket and rest.
