Venting Just wrote my note

[g00ldenr00ds]

ive decided to write it a few weeks in advance. its helping me make peace with dying. i couldnt stop crying while writing it. im at the point where thoughts of ctb, and my plan, and everything that comes along with it dont make me cry anymore, but writing out how much i love my mother and how ive done my best to stay alive for her for as long as i can did. i dont want to hurt anybody. i just cant handle being alive. as beautiful as this world is, my soul wasnt meant for it.

 

[melissa286]

I've been revising my letter for over a year. I guess I just have to make peace with the fact it's never going to be perfect.

In a way, I'm kind of grateful for the past year of quarantine. It's given me the chance to slowly withdraw from my loved ones so hopefully it will be less of a shock for them.

Thinking of you & wishing you peace.

 

[fred farkle]

ive decided to write it a few weeks in advance. its helping me make peace with dying. i couldnt stop crying while writing it. im at the point where thoughts of ctb, and my plan, and everything that comes along with it dont make me cry anymore, but writing out how much i love my mother and how ive done my best to stay alive for her for as long as i can did. i dont want to hurt anybody. i just cant handle being alive. as beautiful as this world is, my soul wasnt meant for it.

i feel very sad for you. you have a mom you love very much,i wish you two could lead a happy life. You have your problems,tho,I understand.

 

[gorgonzola]

ive decided to write it a few weeks in advance. its helping me make peace with dying. i couldnt stop crying while writing it. im at the point where thoughts of ctb, and my plan, and everything that comes along with it dont make me cry anymore, but writing out how much i love my mother and how ive done my best to stay alive for her for as long as i can did. i dont want to hurt anybody. i just cant handle being alive. as beautiful as this world is, my soul wasnt meant for it.

that last sentence really speaks to me. I've been alive for 23 years and I'm still so lost and I see so much beauty and pain in this world and I'm just overstimulated from the depths of my soul. I have a bunch of notes from years ago and still haven't gone through with but I hope I find the strength to ctb soon. These days sticking around for the people that love me just isn't enough