Just imagined what it’s like to be in possession of N

[Gamja]

imagine receiving the parcel and being instantly relieved. Your worries, agony and resentment melt away.

I'd be happy around others. I wouldn't make them worry and I wouldn't be the toxic, negative person anymore. Who knows, maybe I'd actually make friends for being so relaxed.
I'd treat every day as if it were my last, leaving nothing but good memories.

but if I know that I'm going to die in pain with my own hands, I'd be miserable, trembling in fear and shutting down from others.
All I want is a good night's rest, free from pain in my last moments.


taking away peaceful methods and forcing us to live with permanent trauma is beyond cruel.

these memories of someone who hurt me and traumatized me for life, i want them gone.

 

[fred farkle]

mayb you can get it. i know i am going to try!

 

[WhatDoesTheFoxSay?]

Where I live, getting your hands on N is like embarking on a treasure hunt across the globe. A one-way trip, too.

I wish it were that simple. I have no interest in life whatsoever, and have no intention to let it run its course.

 

[shattered dreams]

I used to be a member but have not posted since 2018 because my life got better. Now my life is crap again, so I am back, but that is another story. Back then lots of people bought and used N. I remember everyone bought it from some guy named A in Mexico. I noticed there are no more threads anymore about N since I have been back. Is A not around anymore, and if not, I am sure someone would have taken his place?

 

[Gamja]

thankfully A is still around and I'm going to try again, hopefully I'll get it. It would be a huge relief.

 

[mirko]

I used to be a member but have not posted since 2018 because my life got better. Now my life is crap again, so I am back, but that is another story. Back then lots of people bought and used N. I remember everyone bought it from some guy named A in Mexico. I noticed there are no more threads anymore about N since I have been back. Is A not around anymore, and if not, I am sure someone would have taken his place?

A is still around. Most people here use SN as it's relatively easy to obtain and less expensive than N

 

[Sherri]

One can only dream of, I wish I had N too.

 

[GoingMyOwnWay]

Right now, it give me the feeling of relief. Knowing that I had a way out that I was in control of. A way out that would be peaceful and painless. No fear or panic, just drifting off into nothingness.

 

[Lost Magic]

Well either Nembutal or Sodium Nitrite. Hell, Sodium Nitrite is becoming increasingly difficult to get in many countries now as well.

 

[Trisolaris]

N is the dream.

 

[HopelessFight]

Well either Nembutal or Sodium Nitrite. Hell, Sodium Nitrite is becoming increasingly difficult to get in many countries now as well.

I expect SN to be totally unavailable in Europe within a year :(

 

[Endeavour]

I expect SN to be totally unavailable in Europe within a year :(

Better get your skates on then

 

[EmbraceOfTheVoid]

The idea of having something that is quick, painless, and takes no preparation time is my idea of ideal. I might have to get N after all because the mere though of being able to go at any time for any reason is an extremely appealing one, kind of like those movies where the assassin/spy gets caught and takes a cyanide pill to prevent being tortured.

 

[Lost Magic]

I expect SN to be totally unavailable in Europe within a year :(

Yeah, sad.

 

[JipJopMop]

I would love to have it, I'd like to have the option to escape this world quickly and easily.

 

[MMB]

thankfully A is still around and I'm going to try again, hopefully I'll get it. It would be a huge relief.

A is still around. Most people here use SN as it's relatively easy to obtain and less expensive than N

Please could anybody who knows how to contact A PM me? I keep hearing about this source but no idea where to find details.

 

[Odwin]

Please could anybody who knows how to contact A PM me? I keep hearing about this source but no idea where to find details.

I used duckgogo to find it.

 

[MMB]

I used duckgogo to find it.

The contact details? Or a source for N?

 

[demuic]

Please could anybody who knows how to contact A PM me? I keep hearing about this source but no idea where to find details.

Check the PPeH in the Resource thread.

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/suicide-resource-compilation.3/

 

[OhBother]

I would be thrilled to have control over something in my life for once.

 

[I want to end it]

imagine receiving the parcel and being instantly relieved. Your worries, agony and resentment melt away.

I'd be happy around others. I wouldn't make them worry and I wouldn't be the toxic, negative person anymore. Who knows, maybe I'd actually make friends for being so relaxed.
I'd treat every day as if it were my last, leaving nothing but good memories.

but if I know that I'm going to die in pain with my own hands, I'd be miserable, trembling in fear and shutting down from others.
All I want is a good night's rest, free from pain in my last moments.


taking away peaceful methods and forcing us to live with permanent trauma is beyond cruel.

these memories of someone who hurt me and traumatized me for life, i want them gone.

Are you planning on taking the N now? Its a risk to keep it and not use it.

 

[watchingthewheels]

I'd treat every day as if it were my last, leaving nothing but good memories.

Reminds me of a quote from opera singer Mario Lanza: "I sing each word as though it were my last on earth."


"I sing from the heart... I sing the words of a song and really feel them, from the top of my head to the tip of my toes... I sing as though my life depends on it, and if I ever stop doing that then I'll stop living."

 

[lofticries]

Is it weird that the thought of obtaining n somewhat...turns me on a lil. I dunno, i'm weird af.

Anyway as much as I want N I don't think it'd be in my best interest to have atm since my goal is to ctb after my parents die. I really do feel moments of impulsivity to where I wanna die now. But the thing is I only wanna go by either n(which is hard af to get) and exit mask/bag (which takes a lot of preparation and requires you to have your own place). Jumping is if I've lost all hope of the other two methods but there is no high enough places where I'm at.

 

[Gamja]

Are you planning on taking the N now? Its a risk to keep it and not use it.

I was only daydreaming about having it when I made that post.
When I was at my lowest point in life some time ago and feared no death, I seriously considered it, holding a bottle of SN (not N) in my hands and making all preparations.
But after seeing my parents genuinely worried about me, my plan is to ctb when I deem myself old enough or if something happens to my parents, so it's uncertain when that will be.

 

[HopelessFight]

Well, I've received N a few days ago and can confirm that feeling of relief you get when it gets delivered and the package is undamaged. Much more than I had with SN to be honest, as SN causes quite some discomfort until you pass out (which can take about 20 minutes, but still...).

Whether I'll behave different towards others now? I don't think so. But what will help me is that, when people say really hurtful things towards me now (which happens a lot), I'll be thinking "I have a way out" instead of feeling extremely horrible. Or at least I hope this will be the case.

 

[MMB]

Well, I've received N a few days ago and can confirm that feeling of relief you get when it gets delivered and the package is undamaged. Much more than I had with SN to be honest, as SN causes quite some discomfort until you pass out (which can take about 20 minutes, but still...).

Whether I'll behave different towards others now? I don't think so. But what will help me is that, when people say really hurtful things towards me now (which happens a lot), I'll be thinking "I have a way out" instead of feeling extremely horrible. Or at least I hope this will be the case.

Was it from A?

 

[HopelessFight]

Was it from A?

Nope, from the other seller (D, or as he is named in the PPH, B). Check out my topic about it here:

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/i-have-ordered-n-from-d.64033/

 

[MMB]

Nope, from the other seller (D, or as he is named in the PPH, B). Check out my topic about it here:

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/i-have-ordered-n-from-d.64033/

Thank you!

 

[Graz]

I can get SN easily, but additional medicine not so much... just my luck.
I think I could take 30 minutes of pain, but it's easier said than done