I've avoided and cut off everyone

[Tintypographer]

I've been an introvert for a long time and to be honest I don't enjoy being around other people. Over the last two weeks I have gradually stopped interacting with anyone not necessary. No social media until this post, no meetings other than those required for work, going to stores very late if I need anything and using self checkout, not returning calls or responding to texts and keeping my phone on silent. Not even watching tv. It has been bliss. I can say that if you are like me and don't want to engage in conversations or banter or talk about the weather, you will feel better with the full break. No TV, no media for news. Lots of books, and paper and pen. I still work and have to deal with people there. I must admit that the only time I feel suicidal lately is when I have to be bothered at work. I think that being free from interaction with others socially has helped. My depression is less, I have a world of creative things to read and do and I don't have to feel bad about not wanting to spend time with someone but doing it anyway.

 

[AerialBoundaries]

Been there. I've lost long term friendships through it. Avoiding people, putting my phone on flight mode so nobody can contact me etc. I want them to understand my pain and know that it was nothing personal. I just never felt human enough to keep in touch.

 

[ever so lonely]

i see much similarity in your post and my present sictuation, since covid i have been an unemployed recluse ordering shopping online with bills paid online, honestly buds maybe it is what you need, in my case i have cut off so many, thinking it would lead to a better head space. in some senses it has, but what has replaced it is mental anguish sometimes, i find i am now my own worst enemy, when we isolate we become trapped in our own heads, i am still struggling with this, dont get me wrong most people have to be cut from our lives if we sense they are no good for us, i hope you find peace friend, whatever you may decide moving forward, but maybe being alone and reclusive for now is just what you need to find yourself, listen to that inner voice, as it often tells us what we need, your post is just so relatable on so many levels, i hope you find peace pal

 

[Tintypographer]

I don't have a problem with my job, career, life or well being. I'm much worse off when people are begging me for my time and energy. I want to disappear. Work is fine; much of it is a waste.of time but if they want to pay me to do it, I'm fine. I simply don't want to exist in the world of society. I've known for years I don't want to be part of organizations, be part of a community, get to know people. Actually I like to volunteer but I want to do so completely anonymously. I like going to church but I want to sit in the get back, know no one and speak to no one and then slip out again unnoticed. I don't want to lead any groups, be on any contact lists, be thanked for anything. I don't want to take anything but I also don't want to interact.

Since I started this way of shunning everyone I have been so much happier. I can read, I'm less suicidal, no one relies on me and I dont have to worry about communicating. I so prefer this and it has really helped me be less suicidal.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm very similar to you. I work from home as well, so the only people I see are delivery drivers! Haven't even seen my parents or friends in 3 years. Trouble is- the longer it goes on, the more anxious I feel about having to re-enter the world outside... and it's looking more and more likely I may have to soon.

Still, I'm happy for you- you do you and do what you need to do to feel comfortable. I hope you are able to sustain it if it helps.

 

[gimzero]

Me to people can be pain in ash so we have cut them all.

 

[Tintypographer]

I have found that engagement in any form.is always the start of someone needing something, wanting to manipulate, wanting validation or dealing with commerce. I have learned that deliberately avoiding engagement or cutting people off with the statement that "I choose not to engage or talk" regardless of the subject is very effective for me. Sometimes people get angry because their ability to do their work or livelihood is dependent on engagement but I dislike the discourse. It is not any joy to me at all to be part of activities where I need to reinforce opinions or be sold to or convinced of anything.

I've learned that I love to volunteer but only in secret privacy. I want to donate to charity but I do not under any circumstances want the charity to know it was me, who I am, why I chose to donate or to even know if I might donate again. I also never want to lead any groups. That's probably lazy but nothing emotionally hurts me more than habit to convince others to do something when I would rather avoid the activity as well

I never mind work because my work simply gives me tasks to do and problems to solve and then I'm only engaged to see how much of those things I have finished. I world with Indian engineers and programmers mostly and they're not interested in me if I'm not helping them get a promotion or raise so I'm sideways and not noticed.

I'm only sharing because this has worked for me. I realized my feelings of severe untreated depression were because of having to deal with other people. Getting rid of those activities and cutting people off has removed a lot of that depression and despair in my life.

I realize there are others for whom.loneliness is a serious part of their depression and my strategy won't help you so I would avoid it. But for those who have the desire to avoid contact, my strategy of conscious, deliberate avoidance of other people's and engagement has worked.

 

[Codependent loner]

Other people drain the life from me, I avoid humans as much as possible. I have one person who I communicate with. I enjoy the silence, but more than that I feel safe standing alone.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I used to be very social but have become a hermit … hoping I can decrease everything until poof I disappear

 

[FuneralCry]

I've always seen it as being for the best to stay away from other people and be alone. People can be very tiring and potentially just make things worse, creating more suffering than there already is.