Venting It's getting harder to pretend

[Walilamdzi]

to make plans for the future because I've effectively decided that I don't have a future... but since other people aren't aware of that, or don't accept it, I have to pretend to care one way or the other about decisions, gotta fake enthusiasm for different 'options' for the future. I just no longer care about anything and want it all to be over. Can you relate to this?

 

[dayseeker]

100% Yes.

 

[Empty Smile]

I've made plans for my future. I just need to get to the bus stop.

 

[JadedGray]

I did more so in the past, when those around me still had some semblance of hope. Now, they've pretty much given up like I have (as far as having a successful life). I do still have to pretend to make an effort when it comes to my health, since they think that if I physically get better that it will be enough to want to live (which for me it isn't).

 

[StillWaiting]

Everyday.
I am just living day by day.
I feel so out of place whenever people discuss about what they want to do in the near future

 

[Donewith_]

i can relate. i will try to make plans for a few months so that others don't keep on asking me what i'm up to.
Those months easily pass away and i'd have to make new plans. This is what has been happening from the last few months.
i am getting tired trying to pretend and almost feeling like i'm deceiving them and also exhausting all the resources.. it feels really guilty.

 

[Deadgirl]

I feel the same, it's a struggle to keep your grades up when you truly don't care anymore. I am also trying my best to just tolerate people before my exit date. For some it's really hard.

 

[Life sucks]

Future? No I don't think about it and I'll fake it for others. Their future plans sucks Btw and mostly about stupid shit like careerism and reproduction. Better to think about the present than the future. Why people assume the world is made for them and their silly future plans? Life is unstable

 

[Escaper Boy]

It's painful listening to people around me planning their future. Someone is getting ready for wedding, someone discussed new business/job opportunity, someone was talking about which property to buy/invest. Deep down, I want to be like them too, looking forward to better future instead of researching ctb methods right now.

For the most part, I tend to isolate myself as much as possible from the crowd. Not sure how much longer can I last...

 

[Davy]

What am I supposed answer when someone asks "what have you been up to recently?"

 

[ArtVandelay]

What am I supposed answer when someone asks "what have you been up to recently?"

I hate that question with a passion lol. I just stopped talking to anyone who asks that.

 

[vulgareconomics]

God yes. At work, they were planning projects out to 2020, and I wanted to die.

 

[Marz]

I feel the same, it's a struggle to keep your grades up when you truly don't care anymore. I am also trying my best to just tolerate people before my exit date. For some it's really hard.

I felt this so much! My grades are a mess but I don't care because it won't matter when I die..

 

[Dead beat dad]

to make plans for the future because I've effectively decided that I don't have a future... but since other people aren't aware of that, or don't accept it, I have to pretend to care one way or the other about decisions, gotta fake enthusiasm for different 'options' for the future. I just no longer care about anything and want it all to be over. Can you relate to this?

This is a well report problem in people with suicidal tendencies. They don't plan for the future because all they see around the next corner is them CTB.
I've been in this trap for years, it has impacted so many aspects of my life and ironically if recovery was an option it is one of those things that puts it even further out of reach. Not just the practicalities of never being interested in houses, careers or savings, but also the suicidal mindset and attitude.
If I learn d anything from the movies of John Travolta it is that you can't 'fuck the future,' turns out 'the future fucks you'
Peace brother
DBD

 

[seekingoblivion]

Yeah pretending to be normal overall is starting to get overwhelming.

 

[Retched]

I'm exhausted every second now because of pretending to be ok. Work is a nightmare. Weekends are full of anxiety. I feel immobilized and get nothing done. Even a small errand I have to run today is sending me into a tailspin. Pretending is exhausting.

 

[throwaway777]

yea i feel that .. im desperate to kms while others just keep telling me how i have to find a job and study etc

 

[Walilamdzi]

I wish none of us felt this way! I think the best way is to take things one day at a time, but reaching such a low point makes things 100 times harder than otherwise.

 

[Retched]

I wish none of us felt this way! I think the best way is to take things one day at a time, but reaching such a low point makes things 100 times harder than otherwise.

I wish none of us felt this way either. I've had to take one minute at a time on occasion, as a day is overwhelming.

 

[Walilamdzi]

@Retched That's true.

 

[Tabbyql]

Yes so much, I'm even feigning interest in looking for new job, partner wants a holiday gotta pretend to be excited. Moving house, gotta give a fudge. I literally feel like screaming "there's no point im gone soon!" Just leave me in peace let me have my last few days without being forced to pretend to be what I'm not.

 

[uiop]

I think we all can relate to this. We have to pretend that everything is / will be okay with us. We plan ahead as to not arouse suspicion, but deep down, we don't know how much fight left in us. Everyday is a struggle, and we're fighting a losing-fight. It's just a matter of holding out.

 

[Nihilist]

No one has a future.

 

[Walilamdzi]

What am I supposed answer when someone asks "what have you been up to recently?"

I hate that question with a passion lol. I just stopped talking to anyone who asks that.

Oh I know. I have some extended family who incessantly message me asking for news. I know they just want to express an interest, and I don't blame them, but it just highlights how empty my life is. I've stopped replying.