It's exhausting to talk to people

[Jinnberg]

As much as I love my friends, I've been finding myself avoiding them. I see their messages, but I don't respond. I don't have it in me to do so, maybe my depression just worsened, maybe it's the emotional investment, maybe it's the fear of saying the wrong thing and them leaving me, or maybe it's just general laziness?


All I know is, it's absolutely exhausting to talk to people. It takes so much out of me and I'm not sure why, messaging is only a few clicks away isn't it? But if that's the case, then why is it so difficult?


All my friends are depressed, and yet I can't bring myself to tell them about how much my own depression has spiraled. I'm the person everyone goes to for advice in all of my friend groups, so there's always been some kind of obligation to act like the sane one at all times.


They all think I've recovered from depression when that couldn't be further from the truth. I don't want to tell them about it because I want to spare them that worry. Their lives are Hell as is, I don't want to make it worse by them finding out another one of their friends is actively suicidal. I don't think they could take that pain right now.

Is anyone else in a similar situation? Or just find it extremely exhausting to talk/text people?

 

[RedHarlequin]

I can relate. I have left so many people on read. And I don't meet up with people in real life anymore. All I think about is suicide, nothing else interests me so I can't even imagine how a conversation with a friend would go..

 

[blue_muse]

I liken it to literally holding a mask in front of the face, for a prolonged amount of time, arms and hands are going to ache eventually.

 

[JustAMatterOfTime]

Yes, I go days without saying more than a couple of words to another person, weeks or longer to another person on top of that. The most I "speak" is on here when I am nearly mute in real life at the moment. Get a bit panicky even when getting more than a couple of lines of a reply even in text form. I seem rude but I don't mean to be, wish I could sit and have hours long conversations with people but I just can't anymore, I am regressing. Soon I will probably forget to walk and need to wear a nappy… jk

 

[WornOutLife]

The same happened to me and I ended up all alone and lonely.
Anyway, I don't regret it because I was really fed up with dealing with daily talks and them asking me all the time how I was and every time i had to pretend I was great.

If you think you'll be able to cope with loneliness, just ignore them but let me warn you, not every can deal with this kind of life. I literally have no one except for my dad and dog!

 

[demuic]

I found it too difficult and exhausting to try and keep up with multiple people so I only have one friend. I think too much about what I should say and I'm not good at small talk.

 

[İnilerim]

I'm in a similar boat; currently not talking to anyone at all, ghosted all my friends. Interacting with people takes an immense amount of energy that I usually have available when I'm doing well mentally (and even then it tires me slightly), but when I'm not doing well I just don't have anything to say, there's nothing. Also barely any of them have similar issues to me so it's doubly hard having to explain, so I just don't bother mostly.

 

[HopelessCookie]

Yes i've struggled to keep up with messaging what little friends I have, a few people its been months but mentally it feels like too much and all I want to do is be alone, I don't hurt people when I keep away (never an intention of mine, i'm just very good at upsetting/annoying people by merely opening my mouth...)

 

[AintNoWayOut]

thats what i did when i still had friends around, and now i regret it a lot. sure, i understand why i did it, i had a lot of problems holding me back, but i think i'd rather have made an attempt to stay in contact and see them occasionally than avoid them almost completely. it was only a few people but that beats nothing. it sucks looking back and realizing i'll never have those specific people back in my life, and i threw away years where i could've been more of a social person. for two years now, ever since moving (against my will), i basically just work and sit around at home because i dont have friends irl. sure, i've made a few acquaintances at work, but no one i click with where i want to hang out with them or they want to hang out with me.

 

[Moose.000]

I agree. Physical company is daunting anymore. The next worst is when you finally do have the short-lived burst of energy to respond to someone and they call you within seconds of you responding because they know your phone is in your hand now.

 

[Hurt]

I only talk to my best friends and close relatives. I lost interest in meeting new people. I don't want to make new friends or being in a relationship. I hate being alone but I want to be alone beucase it's awful how I feel I don't want anyone to see me.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm not in contact with any of the friends that I used to have anymore, I found it too much keeping up with them. I am very introverted and I prefer to isolate myself. People are disappointing, they can cause us a lot of pain and I find socialising exhausting. I just feel disconnected from others.