Discussion It's as if my brain had an ON/OFF switch!

[WornOutLife]

Does this happen to you too or this is just my bipolar disorder?

I'm really trying to live but there are days or hours, just like yesterday in which my "LIVING MODE" is on OFF MODE and I just don't feel like living at all. I even wanted to ctb last night and don't face this hellish Monday.

HOWEVER, realizing that I couldn't escape from my destiny, I started preparing today's lessons and now I've got my strength back and I'm ready to cope with this day somehow so, my brain and living mode are now on ON MODE.

Who's the one in charge of this switch? Myself? A random guy controlling me in this possible simulation? My bipolar disorder?

Who knows... but damn, I just want to have constant normal days lol.

Any thoughts?

 

[noname223]

If positive things happen my will to live becomes stronger. I could imagine people with unipolar depression experience similar.
However for me there has to happen a lot to forget my worries.
If there are no external circumstances which lead to that switch it might be your bipolar disorder.

 

[Avyn]

I feel the same way most of the time. I dont know what type of disorder/illess I have, but everytime I get angry or extremely depressed it feels like a switch turning on. Where I know I could be overreacting, but I cant help it other than feeling this way. When I start crying histerically, all shaky for half an hour or even more, most of the times without a big reason, I cant stop it. Same thing when I get angry - even over stupid small things, I cant do anything about it and in that moment I know that I am being unreasonable. But can't fix it. Like something isnt allowing me to do so
After all of that is over I feel happy after couple hours or on the next day like nothing ever happened, like the switch just turned off and im fine now.

I have never heard of this before and I also describe it like a switch to myself and other people. Its very weird but im happy to know someone else feels similar. It is very hard in a relationship when I get emotional at small stuff and my boyfriend has to deal with my outbursts, while I myself know how wrong it is, I cant help it.

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

Sounds like me before and after I go to the gym, tbh. Maybe doing something gives us a sense of control, direction and a temporarily stable worldview.

 

[UseItOrLoseIt]

Having BPD, I relate to this a lot. Last two days I feel good and I have no idea why. Same with the down phases - most of the time there's no discernable cause.

It definitely doesn't feel like I'm in control of the switch. The biggest problem is, when the switch goes OFF I can't do anything. I get mentally paralyzed and fixated on dark thoughts. Like my mind is being sucked into a singularity. All other thoughts just disintegrate.

 

[Isisnefert]

I'm glad to see you here again, I sensed that something was wrong if you weren't around here, sorry from bad English, please.
If this is happening to you is due to your bipolar disorder, I think that many of us here can relate and it is possible that we have not been correctly diagnose.
I'm living with those Ups and Downs you talk about.
Today I got up strong to study, solve some health issues ... but in the middle of the day everything went to shit. I usually turn the button on and off as you do. I can not control it.

Having BPD, I relate to this a lot. Last two days I feel good and I have no idea why. Same with the down phases - most of the time there's no discernable cause.

It definitely doesn't feel like I'm in control of the switch. The biggest problem is, when the switch goes OFF I can't do anything. I get mentally paralyzed and fixated on dark thoughts. Like my mind is being sucked into a singularity. All other thoughts just disintegrate.

Same

 

[Odwin]

I have full motivation mode and doing stuff it should be done. Then i got my I lay in bed mode while the world is burning around me.

 

[Isisnefert]

I have full motivation mode and doing stuff it should be done. Then i got my I lay in bed mode while the world is burning around me.

I relate on a high level

 

[Trisolaris]

I never had ups and downs so I really don't know. It is plausible that it is the bipolar that's dictating your moods.

 

[Odwin]

I relate on a high level

I can tell. Your profil picture sums it up perfectly.

 

[Sensei]

This kind of emotional instability is common for people who suffer from bipolar disorder. I recognize it very well in myself. One hour I'm happy and want to live life to its fullest, the next I'm depressed and longing desperately to die. It's not easy to handle, to say the least.