"It was obvious something was going on." will people say the same thing about you after your suicide?

[noname223]

I love this David Foster Wallace interview with German TV.

DFW describes why he started to write Infinite Jest. He said he wanted to write a book about sadness. He said he started the project after some people who he knew around his age had committed suicide. And he said about them it was obvious something was going.

To be far this man was a genius. I think noone in my environment knew dick before I almost drunk the SN. The self-help group, my family, friends who had no information....I think noone would have expected it to be then. I even gave a party shortly before almost killing myself. I wanted that my friends associate with me good memories.

Two of my friends knew it though because I told them it.

Afterwards I told my mom, grandma and my self-help group a ridiculous lie why the police came and all that stuff. And I think noone questioned it. They all bought it.

I don't think they will see it coming when I ctb. But to me it is so fucking obvious for me.

 

[devils~advocate]

Yes they will be blind sided....which isn't my intent btw......but some will try to say that something was going on...that they just couldnt quite figure it out.
And then some will also say things like that they wished that they had spent more time together.....to which Ive heard it many times over the years from the same people in regards to family members passing away. To me the ones that say this must have some issues themselves, if they say this sort of thing about not spending time with those that had recently passed away. I guess its a way to make them feel better about themselves.

Im surrounded by people who are only concerned and see whats currently going on around them.....they dont seem to remember people in the past nor think about what might happen in the future. Their remorse for whatever they might feel guilty about is only temporary....maybe even for a few short hours. This is the way of the current state of our culture. Its depressing.

 

[TAW122]

Some people might say that, and some might not. People who don't know me well enough might just think it was all of a sudden, or even impulsive. However, I do think that people who knew a bit about me (especially some IRL acquaintances and friends), might think that there was something that happened, but may/not still think it was sudden or unexpected. Nevertheless, I still wouldn't let someone or other external opinions factor into my decision, because I set my own criteria for when/if I decide to CTB and when I do, it would be on my own terms (as much as I can in my circumstances).

 

[HenryHenriksen_6E]

I think people would find clues after I'm gone, though it'd basically be impossible to figure out beforehand. It'd be unexpected when they first get the news, because to them I'm just the chill dude who lends them a charger, occasionally talks with them, and sometimes cracks a witty joke, however when I'm dead, I'll probably simply be known as "the guy who killed himself," nothing more, nothing less.

 

[blackbeauty]

No, I've not told any of my friends how I REALLY feel and that I want to ctb. It will be a WTF moment for sure.

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

It's been obvious for almost 14 years now. I can't believe it's been so long since my life got off track. 14 years and I haven't been able to calm down. I wake up every morning and know something is wrong.

 

[Proxar]

Expected but, unexpected at the same time. They all knew but no one thought it could.

 

[hereornot]

Yes, they will say so, and it is normal for them to realize that something was wrong.

It is sad when people who do not know what the reasons were or what led to this are malicious speculations.

 

[vitbar]

Last time I was close to killing myself one person figured it out, but others knew something was going on.

 

[dontwakemeup]

I doubt anyone will he surprised who truly know me. My co-workers would be shocked and look for answers. But those who truly know me I think they all are waiting for the call and wouldn't be in shock at all. I use to be very open about my suicide ideas because I never wanted this community to be taboo and afraid to speak up. Now, I simply don't discuss it anymore. I'm done talking to people, it doesn't really matter if they understand.

I love this David Foster Wallace interview with German TV.

DFW describes why he started to write Infinite Jest. He said he wanted to write a book about sadness. He said he started the project after some people who he knew around his age had committed suicide. And he said about them it was obvious something was going.

To be far this man was a genius. I think noone in my environment knew dick before I almost drunk the SN. The self-help group, my family, friends who had no information....I think noone would have expected it to be then. I even gave a party shortly before almost killing myself. I wanted that my friends associate with me good memories.

Two of my friends knew it though because I told them it.

Afterwards I told my mom, grandma and my self-help group a ridiculous lie why the police came and all that stuff. And I think noone questioned it. They all bought it.

I don't think they will see it coming when I ctb. But to me it is so fucking obvious for me.

People want you to be open and honest but they simply can't accept or understand what you tell them. I think even in death there will he many unanswered questions. Even if you leave a note, it won't be enough. For some people they simply can't understand that people want to stop existing! It doesn't matter the reason, just accept what we say as so and learn to let us go!

 

[noname37]

I don't think anyone will care realistically, in fact, it will be a relief that a cancer like me is finally gone. Doesn't really bother me none, I just wish I could be alone during my final moments, you know?

 

[dust-in-the-wind]

Friends and family know I suffer from major depression and it's been severe for a year. So people that really know me won't be shocked. But acquaintances would definitely be shocked and asking around as to why I did it.

 

[norain]

Probably yes, my mom is the one I tell suspicious things to, my sister listens, my dad knows how I've felt and my brother, although he lives apart, when he comes over he can tell that something is wrong or strange with me (although he is partly, I wouldn't say "guilty" but things he did and how he was with me in the past made me get to this point).
Some friends and my partner will probably notice when I stop answering them, they will know oh she finally did it...
they also know how I felt and the difficulties I went through and that in the past I already tried to leave but this time it would be definitive because I already have the sure method

 

[BojackH]

Yes. I live with my mom. She knows. My brother knows as well. I've been depressed since the age of 16. Don't want to make it to 24.

 

[LostLily]

They will all be shocked. I'm pretty good at hiding my emotions

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Yeah most people would say it was pretty obvious but maybe some would still be shocked by the degree of how it was for me. I keep expecting too much of people to be able to see how evil and awful I am but too often they seem to be oblivious so maybe that will come as a surprise to them…

 

[dontwakemeup]

I don't think anyone will care realistically, in fact, it will be a relief that a cancer like me is finally gone. Doesn't really bother me none, I just wish I could be alone during my final moments, you know?

If you tell us, I promise you won't be alone during your last moments. We care and understand

 

[waistcoat]

my family will be taken by surprise, some friends too, but the people i care about won't be ~ they know i'm not long for this world.

 

[ScaredOfMachines]

I've been visibly unstable for months, so I doubt I'm shocking anyone.

 

[Pluto]

 

[PI3.14]

I think my family knows that my suicide is inevitable. I told them already that I have to intention in continuing to live and that I will ctb in the next 6-7 months.

 

[HereTomorrow]

What my family will say is they'll regret not putting me back in therapy while I was alive, but realistically forced therapy is what has driven me closer to greatly considering suicide.

They know I used to be suicidial, but to them right now I'm "okay". They won't be blindsided, but they won't be surprised either. Same for my friends.

If I CTB I will make it my request to publicize my death and explain how forced treatment and SA was the reason, and to not affiliate my death with "call a holiness if you're in crisis!". I know it won't be listened to, even as my final wishes. I just want to be dead, and whatever happens afterwards is out of my control.

 

[F@#$]

They'll say that or " we had no idea anything was wrong.".

 

[helloandbye1]

they'll be shocked but not very much. but they will be very upset

 

[mattoman]

They'll say that or " we had no idea anything was wrong.".

Definitely this. My family knows I'm depressed and I've expressed some suicidal thoughts to them, but I'm 100 % sure it would still come as a shock to them. This is one reason what makes me not want to do it (though I wouldn't really care about it after I'm dead), but I know at least my mother would be shattered.

 

[TheHolySword]

I've attempted before so it won't be totally surprising to family but no one knows how I'm feeling currently so it'll likely still be a shock. My friend group has no idea I've attempted in the past or have major depression so this will definitely blindside them. I'm sure a lot of things will be said, probably things I've said myself. I'm just sorry I won't be there to help them through it

 

[F@#$]

Definitely this. My family knows I'm depressed and I've expressed some suicidal thoughts to them, but I'm 100 % sure it would still come as a shock to them. This is one reason what makes me not want to do it (though I wouldn't really care about it after I'm dead), but I know at least my mother would be shattered.

I don't know how many people see me as depressed. I think most folks just think I'm an asshole.

 

[cazza82]

No one will have a clue the only person I've trusted enough to tell about what's going on in my head is my councillor everybody else doesn't care they rip me apart daily make me feel like a worthless useless piece of crap I am a tad nervous about bringing it up again in my next session but it did help finally letting it out and telling someone the actual truth I'm fighting with do I take the help or just accept the inevitable because I've always been let down in the past so I'm always thinking it will happen again and that would cut real deep do our suicidal thoughts ever stop with me it's daily that's all I think about

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm really not sure. I can imagine both responses really. I think people can tell I'm unhappy and a pessimist but maybe they don't think anyone will go that far with it. I think, especially if they haven't considered it themselves, it will be hard to get their heads around.

It really depends on the person though. People I see fairly regularly but only make small talk to- delivery drivers etc. probably would be kind of shocked because I can appear upbeat for short periods of time. My closest friends know I've had ideation from childhood. Not many know I'm still so intent on it now but- it shouldn't entirely be a shock for them. My family, it might be. They likely realise I'm struggling but, not that much.

 

[Wistful]

Probably mostly comments like "Oh, they were crazy anyway." and "It was gonna happen anyway." Stuff like that.