witless
Member
- Aug 11, 2024
- 5
why the fuck is it so cruel with me. I had hope for a few days. I had a really great week. I talked to people, I went to the gym, I did everything right, I felt so happy. But it always comes back. Something always fucking happens and I'm sent right back to square one.
Everyone tries so hard to support me. People care and I hate it. I wish we could all give up on me. Everyone always tells me it gets better but it all just comes crashing back down and I get stuck here realizing I won't live to be 30. I don't want to do this anymore. How does anyone survive feeling like this? How does anyone get through it? How do they do it when it literally never fucking gets better? The floor keeps getting pulled from under my feet and I'm so fucking tired of living the same cycle day in and day out. I know this shit is coming and I fall for it every fucking time.
I don't even think I want to die. Whenever there's a little bit of joy I make sure I enjoy it and everything. I'm grateful, I make sure I appreciate it, I do everything right and things still don't get better. It's been 10+ years of this shit and it doesn't get better. I don't want to die but I have no other fucking options because there is no other way that this ends. Nothing is going to work and nobody is going to save me and I just want this shit to be over. I want to stop pretending it wasn't over a long time ago
Everyone tries so hard to support me. People care and I hate it. I wish we could all give up on me. Everyone always tells me it gets better but it all just comes crashing back down and I get stuck here realizing I won't live to be 30. I don't want to do this anymore. How does anyone survive feeling like this? How does anyone get through it? How do they do it when it literally never fucking gets better? The floor keeps getting pulled from under my feet and I'm so fucking tired of living the same cycle day in and day out. I know this shit is coming and I fall for it every fucking time.
I don't even think I want to die. Whenever there's a little bit of joy I make sure I enjoy it and everything. I'm grateful, I make sure I appreciate it, I do everything right and things still don't get better. It's been 10+ years of this shit and it doesn't get better. I don't want to die but I have no other fucking options because there is no other way that this ends. Nothing is going to work and nobody is going to save me and I just want this shit to be over. I want to stop pretending it wasn't over a long time ago