My life is so pathetic
I'm almost 42 years old. At 37, I had everything, marriage, house, career, great friends, in great shape, life was good. I fucked it up. I lost it all. Since then everything has slowly eroded and I have nothing left. I live with my parents. I have no future. Recently, I accidentally broke my phone and then the new one I got was stolen soon after. I haven't bothered to replace it. I'm just gradually isolating myself because I have nothing to offer anyone else.
I think I'm nearing the end. If there was an easy, painless way out, I would have taken it 20 times over. I'm not a violent person and I don't know how I'm going to do it. But I have to at this point, I can't tolerate the pain of existence any more.
Whether that means a train, a building, CO, I don't know. I wish I could just get a bottle of N and bring it all to an end.
I'm almost 42 years old. At 37, I had everything, marriage, house, career, great friends, in great shape, life was good. I fucked it up. I lost it all. Since then everything has slowly eroded and I have nothing left. I live with my parents. I have no future. Recently, I accidentally broke my phone and then the new one I got was stolen soon after. I haven't bothered to replace it. I'm just gradually isolating myself because I have nothing to offer anyone else.
I think I'm nearing the end. If there was an easy, painless way out, I would have taken it 20 times over. I'm not a violent person and I don't know how I'm going to do it. But I have to at this point, I can't tolerate the pain of existence any more.
Whether that means a train, a building, CO, I don't know. I wish I could just get a bottle of N and bring it all to an end.
