Help is therapy worth it?

[Zaya]

i have never been to a therapist except over 10 years ago when my parents divorced but thats a long time ago and things have changed

so a couple months ago i talked to a doctor, i was kinda forced to go there because certain people saw my SH scars and through some mental gymnastics came to the conclusion that thats somehow their business so they sent me there (it was "voluntarily" but because of my social awkwardness i just couldnt say no).

when i went to the doctor i didnt really tell him much, i basically just blamed all of it on my shitty work environment and my poor financial situation but he could sense that these werent the only reasons so i briefly mentioned some other things as well and he ended up suggesting that i should see a therapist

now im kinda curious, is it worth it going to therapy? i think i would consider it if i were in a position where i felt like i could actually turn my life around but im not so it just feels like a waste of time

another problem i would be facing is that i most likely would be unable to talk about certain things and if i dont tell them the truth they probably wont be able to help me

also what if i end up with a bad therapist who doesnt help me at all

so do you guys think it would be worth giving it a try or not?

 

[vak]

You will need to do most of the work, even with a good therapist. They don't have any magical answers. I was writing everything down and was preparing for the sessions actively, making most of my progress when preparing myself for the next session.

I was stuck with a bad therapist for more than a year because I didn't know any better. Then I got a new one and he helped me resolve some of my issues in just two sessions. So don't be afraid of switch them if you don't see any results.

When I was returning home from my first session, I was crying the whole trip in the bus (but not during the consultation itself) because just telling my problems for the very first time to somebody was that relieving.

It didn't turn my life around as you are hoping for yourself, but I still recommend it because it just might. Sometimes you just need to hear the right words in the correct order, or you need to hear something you already know from someone who you can respect.

 

[Zaya]

When I was returning home from my first session, I was crying the whole trip in the bus (but not during the consultation itself) because just telling my problems for the very first time to somebody was that relieving.

Maybe that alone would be a reason to at least give it a try at some point. Just getting everything off my chest would feel extremely relieving, im sure. Although as i mentioned i dont really know if i would be able to truly tell them everything

 

[vak]

Maybe that alone would be a reason to at least give it a try at some point. Just getting everything off my chest would feel extremely relieving, im sure. Although as i mentioned i dont really know if i would be able to truly tell them everything

It's amazing feeling, yes. Well what you can do is tell them that there are difficult things that you are not yet ready to talk about but you are open to maybe exploring them down the road. They can't pry them out of you, you will share what you are comfortable sharing. But they can help you navigate this obstacle as well. And don't worry, they've probably heard everything thousand times and it's not personal for them.

Sometimes just admitting that something is difficult is therapeutic on its own. It's like the old trick when you're feeling nervous before a group, you open with admitting it and it will get little better.

 

[Zaya]

It's amazing feeling, yes. Well what you can do is tell them that there are difficult things that you are not yet ready to talk about but you are open to maybe exploring them down the road. They can't pry them out of you, you will share what you are comfortable sharing. But they can help you navigate this obstacle as well. And don't worry, they've probably heard everything thousand times and it's not personal for them.

Sometimes just admitting that something is difficult is therapeutic on its own. It's like the old trick when you're feeling nervous before a group, you open with admitting it and it will get little better.

Well thanks for the advice, maybe one day I will give it a try and just hope for the best

 

[theboy]

Yes, but you have to do your part to get out of the hole you are in.

 

[Zaya]

Yes, but you have to do your part to get out of the hole you are in.

Yea I am aware of that, going there with no itentions to change my behaviours would just be a waste of time. It's just that right now i'm not really in a position where i can deal with that. it was more of a question out of curiosity because i see so many people on here talking about therapy

 

[theboy]

Yes, we talk about therapy because there is evidence that it works, although it is a long and difficult process because it requires changing the way you think. You could think about it

 

[Praestat_Mori]

First of all it's helpful when you know whats causing your urge to SH or other MH issues. You already mentioned some. If for example a bad work environment is part of the issues therapy has not much powers unless you change your work environment (this is just an example here!).

You should also be open with your therapist if you expect success of the whole therapy. To "trust" a therapist takes some time, that won't be easy.

If you think therapy can help you then give it a try. In the end it's trial and error and maybe you have to change to a different therapist.

 

[unabletocope]

It's something you have to work at but sometimes they can help

 

[MiMif]

now im kinda curious, is it worth it going to therapy? i think i would consider it if i were in a position where i felt like i could actually turn my life around but im not so it just feels like a waste of time

another problem i would be facing is that i most likely would be unable to talk about certain things and if i dont tell them the truth they probably wont be able to help me

also what if i end up with a bad therapist who doesnt help me at all

so do you guys think it would be worth giving it a try or not?

I mean although you feel you aren't in a position to change your life around therapy may help you see your life in a different perspective. To be perfectly honest I've never had therapy so I don't really know...I have been pondering it though as my mental issues have increased and I'm still alive.

Some of my friends have therapy and they seem to enjoy it. It may help just opening up to someone who is paid to listen to you when no one else will.

 

[KafkaF]

i have never been to a therapist except over 10 years ago when my parents divorced but thats a long time ago and things have changed

so a couple months ago i talked to a doctor, i was kinda forced to go there because certain people saw my SH scars and through some mental gymnastics came to the conclusion that thats somehow their business so they sent me there (it was "voluntarily" but because of my social awkwardness i just couldnt say no).

when i went to the doctor i didnt really tell him much, i basically just blamed all of it on my shitty work environment and my poor financial situation but he could sense that these werent the only reasons so i briefly mentioned some other things as well and he ended up suggesting that i should see a therapist

now im kinda curious, is it worth it going to therapy? i think i would consider it if i were in a position where i felt like i could actually turn my life around but im not so it just feels like a waste of time

another problem i would be facing is that i most likely would be unable to talk about certain things and if i dont tell them the truth they probably wont be able to help me

also what if i end up with a bad therapist who doesnt help me at all

so do you guys think it would be worth giving it a try or not?

Yes, it's worth a try.

I've gone to 4 therapists (depending on how you count). 3 of them didn't help me at all. But the last one helped me a LOT.

At the start of 2014 I barely dared to leave my house. I didn't even dare to take the bus. I couldn't go to school or do exams. Then I started going to my current therapist. By the end of 2015 I was going to school every day I needed to, doing exams and had a girlfriend.

She also helped me get through my 2018-2019 depression.

Is there a chance you'll end up with a bad therapist? Yes, because I have too. But then the best thing to do is give them a chance and if they don't help, find another one. If that one doesn't help, try again. For me it took 3 tries and about 3 years to find one who worked for me. But after that time my life changed hugely due to finding this therapist. So it was definitely worth the search.

My biggest regret is just not finding her earlier. I stayed with my third therapist for 2 entire years despite the fact that she wasn't helping me. If I'd switched to my fourth (and current) therapist earlier it would've been much better for me.

Also, as a sidenote, the numbers show that therapy does help. It doesn't help 100% of people and it doesn't always help in making people 100% better. But generally speaking it is effective.

But you have to find the right therapist for you. An approach that fits you, a therapeutic method that works for you and your problem and your therapeutic relationship with them has to be good (this is a HUGE predictor of therapy outcomes).

So I say: Definitely try it. You don't have a 100% chance of success, but if you don't try you do have a 100% chance of failure. And don't give up if the first therapist doesn't work out, and don't stay for 2 years like I did. Give them a fair chance and time enough to work, but if they're not working for you find someone else with a different approach that does.

 

[CuriosityAndCat]

You just described: self harm, hopelessness, social anxiety? The fact you're on this site is probably depression as well.
So without a doubt yes.
Get diagnosis by a psychologist first if you can.

 

[Zaya]

Thank you all for your answers. I'm moving soon but after that I may give it a try and see if i can find a therapist