Is loneliness related to your CTB?

  • Yes

    Votes: 47 77.0%
  • No

    Votes: 14 23.0%

  • Total voters
    61
orlandom

orlandom

Mage
Mar 4, 2021
514
Is loneliness related to your CTB?
 
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W

WornOutLife

マット
Mar 22, 2020
7,164
I miss my ex friends and gf from time to time but I really like this loneliness so I guess it's not one of my reasons to ctb.
 
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Mentalmick

Mentalmick

IMHOTEP!!!
Nov 30, 2020
2,050
It's probably the primary reason. That fucking internal loneliness I feel every morning I wake up is rancid. I also feel it when I'm dreaming. And at night because I know I'm going to have to sleep and dream again. There's no getting away from it.
 
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yive

yive

life is evil
Nov 6, 2020
696
definitely yes
 
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GenesAndEnvironment

GenesAndEnvironment

Autistic loser
Jan 26, 2021
5,739
Until recently, yep. I am currently not suffering from loneliness. Now it's more about low self-esteem and comparing myself to others despite it not making logical sense according to my own worldview.
 
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L

life-eternal

Student
Nov 11, 2020
115
The opposite for me. I wish I never got involved in a relationship. Now CTB'ing would be seriously impacting someone else's lives that isn't your family, someone that you chose, which makes it even worse. I think the best way to exist in this planet is to not form connections with anyone, if you need sex find a sex partner, but do not get in a romantic relationship as they can eliminate CTB plans
 
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W

WornOutLife

マット
Mar 22, 2020
7,164
The opposite for me. I wish I never got involved in a relationship. Now CTB'ing would be seriously impacting someone else's lives that isn't your family, someone that you chose, which makes it even worse. I think the best way to exist in this planet is to not form connections with anyone, if you need sex find a sex partner, but do not get in a romantic relationship as they can eliminate CTB plans

I've come to the same conclusion!
 
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DarkWolf

DarkWolf

Worthless Loser
Mar 29, 2021
201
I've been alone all my life. But it's not a reason to ctb. I don't even mind really, no one understands me and I don't Belong anywhere. I like being on my own but it makes life so much harder.
 
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blue_muse

blue_muse

Mage
Jan 31, 2021
552
Definitely not because of loneliness. I recall feeling almost completely alone in the company of friends and during fun events.
 
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Ame

Ame

あめ
Nov 1, 2019
322
A sense of "belonging" and "interconnectedness" come up in many models of suicide and having a supportive social circle is seen as a protective factor against suicide attempts. For those reasons I voted yes even if loneliness isn't the primary driving force behind my desire to kill myself. I'm an introverted person and have never been the type to want to have to juggle the needs of too many friends and acquaintances. Socializing can be nice from time to time, but no matter how fun I may find it, the experience is always draining. A handful of friends was usually ideal ha ha.

Companionship, does well to blunt the pain of existential crisis though, I'll concede that much. In my experience, love makes for a potent delusion that tones down my lucidity just enough for me to want to try to live out a full life. It was never a cure all, but wanting to see a future with someone is a good motivator for certain. I've all about given up now, because every single possible permutation of my life doesn't appeal to me at all, so forget that.
 
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eternalsunshine

eternalsunshine

New Member
Feb 2, 2021
1
For me, my plans to ctb made me want to isolate myself from others. Yes, I do miss my friends and everyone but I had this mindset where they would be used to me being gone now, than when I really actually pass on.
 
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JustAMatterOfTime

JustAMatterOfTime

Fragile
Mar 21, 2021
905
No not at all I am much more content not having to interact with anyone but my pets. People make me nervous.
 
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C

currylover

Member
Jul 19, 2020
37
Absolutely. The one person that claimed they would be there has left and I just cant anymore.
 
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aloneagainnaturally

aloneagainnaturally

Member
Sep 15, 2020
6
Yes. Nobody has ever truly loved me and nobody ever will. It's one contributing factor, for sure,
 
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loopylou

Learn to fly
Jan 11, 2021
884
It's number one in my list of reasons
 
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SadGirl

SadGirl

Specialist
Mar 24, 2019
334
I felt very alone, and in fact I was, and kind of still am, what has changed in this trajectory is that, I just don't care anymore whether or not I have people by my side. So fuck it. I ended my relationship almost 5 months ago, and I'm still getting over it, I still love it, but I'm going to turn this love into hate, it's a way to overcome and protect yourself.
 
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orlandom

orlandom

Mage
Mar 4, 2021
514
I felt very alone, and in fact I was, and kind of still am, what has changed in this trajectory is that, I just don't care anymore whether or not I have people by my side. So fuck it. I ended my relationship almost 5 months ago, and I'm still getting over it, I still love it, but I'm going to turn this love into hate, it's a way to overcome and protect yourself.
Exactly 5 months ago I finished mine.
 
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U

Unicorns

Member
Feb 8, 2021
22
Yes, my main reason.
 
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Dr Iron Arc

Dr Iron Arc

Into the Unknown
Feb 10, 2020
20,672
Yep. Even putting aside the lack of romance, I still feel fundamentally unable to identify with so many other humans due to cynicism/edgy contrarianness.
 
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ExhaustedExistence

ExhaustedExistence

Life is just waiting for death
Mar 26, 2021
693
It's one of my reasons. I like being alone, but I hate being lonely. I have no romantic relationship nor good friendship. I haven't seen my "best friend" for more than one year, because she doesn't have any time for me. And other friends just use me. So I have nobody except for my family, but you know it's not the same.
 
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Celerity

Celerity

shape without form, shade without colour
Jan 24, 2021
2,733
It's a huge part of it. I don't want to die alone or without having found someone to love.
 
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S

ScaredToLive

Student
Feb 2, 2020
126
No, I'd very much like to spend more time on my own. People drain my energy and I don't really like them
 
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demuic

demuic

Life was a mistake
Sep 12, 2020
1,383
Somewhat. If I had likeminded friends it would make life more bearable and make me able to hold off from CTB for longer, but I don't and never will.
 
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LastFlowers

LastFlowers

the haru that can read
Apr 27, 2019
2,170
It's more of a secondary symptom of my main cause for ctb. I do prefer to have time alone regardless of my life circumstances, but pure isolation is harmful to pretty much everyone.
For me, my plans to ctb made me want to isolate myself from others. Yes, I do miss my friends and everyone but I had this mindset where they would be used to me being gone now, than when I really actually pass on.
I actually hate that I've made it so easy on everyone else, not only from simply being someone that they have no interest in, but from having to isolate for YEARS and therefore already becoming a ghost to them, long before I will cease to breathe.
 
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W’ren

W’ren

Worthless
Oct 28, 2020
559
It's not my primary reason but it's in there. I'm alone 23 hours a day ~ often more time than that.

I don't mind being alone- but there's a difference between being alone and feeling alone. You can feel alone in a crowd of people- i, personally, find that my loneliness improves when i'm around certain people but it never goes away..

I've felt alone amongst people for decades- but i've never experienced loneliness like this until Covid- the lack of connection is horrible.

Covid has simply poked my need to ctb with a stick. Loneliness is a part of that- i mean... 23 hours.. that feels cruel.
 
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