Imagine if you could end regret

[prototypian]

Life sucks but where I live makes it worse. It's 104 degrees without any breeze (39 C).

I regret living here. I regret my wasted life of 55 plus years.

I regret my choices in family and home and career. I regret the place I call home

I know what would make me happy; take away the regret and remorse. Stop my swirling around the fact that I can't ever go back or do anything again and that I and simply stuck marching toward death hating everything I have done.

Honestly I don't want to feel better. I don't want to be in a place where I have to try and rationalize all the things that make me unhappy.. I'm so sick of platitudes. I don't want to "hold the future in my hands" or "dream it do it"

Those things don't work at all. Wishing doesn't help. Taking tiny steps doesn't help. The enormity of a huge life of failure in my own eyes is all that I have.

 

[Traveller12724]

I am really sorry that you found yourself in this position, full of regrets, do you think you could maybe move to a completely new place with much better weather and start anew and don't look back ?

 

[Dusk till dawn]

In my case, i'd rather live my life till i end myself while i carry all of my memories, the good and bad ones, it's what makes me human in the first place, i don't wish to forget any of the bad memories i carried, they made me more experienced and helped me develop my personality and character, i still regret not being able to prevent the bad events in my life from happening and i'll always blame myself for that, i'll always wish i could be reborn with all my memories and experiences, at the same time the bad memories and guilt and feeling incomplete is what makes me suicidal, i might sound illogical for that, but it's what makes me what i am today, even if that's what makes me a nobody, a broken guy

 

[prototypian]

I can't handle the number of people I've disappointed and the life I've wasted. I'm sick of looking in the bright side and taking things one day at a time. I don't want to do it anymore

 

[lizzywizzy09]

I can't handle the number of people I've disappointed and the life I've wasted. I'm sick of looking in the bright side and taking things one day at a time. I don't want to do it anymore

Same. I wish I had viewed the bigger picture and planned ahead more. Would have saved myself and others a lot of grief.

 

[feelinggloomy]

I let my son down. Perhaps one of the biggest regrets of all … a parent failing a chid

 

[prototypian]

I let my son down. Perhaps one of the biggest regrets of all … a parent failing a chid

See, that. That's exactly it. Things we do that we didn't mean to do or understand at the time. People say "that's what makes us human" but is it really? Do we have to go on and on feeling that regret forever and knowing that someone will never forgive a mistake. Why live if that's the only outcome? My only recourse is to regret that mistake forever and wish it had never happened and it can't change and I can't every be free of it.

If therapists could take away the memories and regret instead of just suggesting ways to put on rose colored glasses and be happy I would find therapy to be much more valuable.

 

[MyChoiceAlone]

I can't handle the number of people I've disappointed and the life I've wasted. I'm sick of looking in the bright side and taking things one day at a time. I don't want to do it anymore

ok well i've been in 104 weather and about the same age. my question is 'how many people disappointed you'? i may have made a mistake a few days ago that i may regret but i won't.

stay srtong.

we've made it this far anyway!

 

[ADBoy777]

I'm sorry you carry those feelings in all this aspects it must be tough
Ending regret would surely solve some of my problems

 

[Ambivalent1]

With a smaller or nonexistent prefrontal cortex, there is no regret. Creatures live in the present. They are blessed while we are cursed with memory and imagination.

 

[prototypian]

ok well i've been in 104 weather and about the same age. my question is 'how many people disappointed you'? i may have made a mistake a few days ago that i may regret but i won't.

stay srtong.

we've made it this far anyway!

Very few people disappoint me. I never have expectations for other people. Except I hope they don't need me for things. If someone misses a meeting with me without telling me I consider it a joy to have that time back. If I am late by a moment for my schedule for a meeting I get pings on my phone, inter company instant message, email and WhatsApp all at the same time saying "we are waiting for you, are you joining".

If I ask someone "hey can you help me find this" and they don't answer I assume they are busy and try to find it myself.

I recall years ago being at a larger conference in Miami and a leader was upset about some data on a visualization. I didn't have my work computer with me. This leader wanted the data changed and was so angry that I couldn't do it that they just began calling me over and over. Then when I turned my phone off they called through the hotel number that this was an emergency and needed to speak to me.

Everyone needs me and I disappoint people all the time. Daily I wake up and find people have dropped multiple meetings on my schedule before 7 am to just try and get time with me. 90 percent of these are people just not wanting any risk and want something clarified so they won't have anything wrong being their fault. I disappoint everyone.

People don't disappoint me at all. I assume everyone is constrained by their time and work and dates and life. I never go back to the same person over and over. I once had a person who had heard from smwhere that I might be able to help them find that thing. I couldn't say "I don't know". That person kept coming back to the point that when they asked "can you think of a place the thing might be?" I just started naming random places that it might be and I even told them this "I don't know so I'm just going to suggest random places". They spend the next couple of days just looking wheee I told them then coming back.

What I've learned in the big business world is that there is too much stuff and people live with a life called "my boss says" which means their boss told them to do something by a specific time so they latch onto anything and anyone who can help them without needing to think.

I disappoint everyone because everyone needs something.