I’m moving further away from suicide but it’s still a hope

[trying ungracefully]

As I'm going through life recovering I have been able to move away from my suicidal thoughts and they have decreased a lot with medication. It's been nice because I used to be on this site with a different account hoping to die and hoping I could get the money for SN. Suicide only comes up momentarily for me when I'm really upset but it ends up passing after some time.

But it's still have the hope in my mind sometimes. I just wish I could have the easy way out and escape all this shit I am going through and have to do to recover. I don't even know if it will be worth it in the end. I don't know if I will achieve my goals in life or if I will achieve the bare minimum in life. That's the scary part about recovering. And it also sucks because it all can come crashing down at a moments notice if I don't catch my symptoms in time to get help.

 

[4colliez]

The thing about recovery is to take it one day at a time. Sometimes you still come crashing down and feel that you're regressing, but every day that you don't is an accomplishment

I have the hope too honesty, when things go bad it feels like I'll always have a way out. At first it was just a comfort, but I think about it less and less

 

[hoppybunny]

As I'm going through life recovering I have been able to move away from my suicidal thoughts and they have decreased a lot with medication. It's been nice because I used to be on this site with a different account hoping to die and hoping I could get the money for SN. Suicide only comes up momentarily for me when I'm really upset but it ends up passing after some time.

But it's still have the hope in my mind sometimes. I just wish I could have the easy way out and escape all this shit I am going through and have to do to recover. I don't even know if it will be worth it in the end. I don't know if I will achieve my goals in life or if I will achieve the bare minimum in life. That's the scary part about recovering. And it also sucks because it all can come crashing down at a moments notice if I don't catch my symptoms in time to get help.

I'm happy you're feeling better. I hope ur recovery continues to go well. Remeber, slow motion is better than no motion. Just because recovery takes time doesn't mean it's a bad thing.

 

[continuing]

As I'm going through life recovering I have been able to move away from my suicidal thoughts and they have decreased a lot with medication. It's been nice because I used to be on this site with a different account hoping to die and hoping I could get the money for SN. Suicide only comes up momentarily for me when I'm really upset but it ends up passing after some time.

But it's still have the hope in my mind sometimes. I just wish I could have the easy way out and escape all this shit I am going through and have to do to recover. I don't even know if it will be worth it in the end. I don't know if I will achieve my goals in life or if I will achieve the bare minimum in life. That's the scary part about recovering. And it also sucks because it all can come crashing down at a moments notice if I don't catch my symptoms in time to get help.

Im glad you can feel a little better, at the moment i feel i am a little better but still not that much, i did a thing, i did a list of "stuff i want to do", it is as simple as play a certain game or see snow for the first time, what im trying toi say is that, you dont need to achive anything, at least for me im not expecting that, im just focousing on the stuff i need/want to do, and go on