bloomingdark

bloomingdark

Alex
Jan 24, 2019
170
I have this feeling of being completely alone, walking myself through the streets, looking at people surviving at the other side of the street, and everything feels so fucking surreal, i feel like it must be all a dream, the pain and the constant feeling of lonliness, i feel like a literally wanna puke everything I have inside, i feel sick because every little thing has an enormous impact on me, loving others is not enough, my love is not enough for them, I'm tired of loving, tired of feeling, tired of distracting myself, tired of this constant blurry world that makes me feel like I'm in an infinite bad trip, falling over something over and over, no amount of therapy, no amount of pills prevent me from this, people get bored of me, and my desire to sleep forever is as much as the one to not losing who i love, not losing feelings, i can't give myself another opportunity.

I wish I could say I want to be who i was but I was never no one, i was and i am just feelings.


I want to cry in someones chest until I fall sleep, and dead , i Don't care if i am still really young i don't want anything else anyways, i don't have dreams and the only person i counted with and i loved , is now gone.


I find myself shouting in my mind to something/someone, i don't even know what, "let me sleep please, just let me go, because even if I don't have the guts to do it is all i want..."


Why are you done with living guys?

I'm sorry if I bored you with that
 
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WornOutLife

マット
Mar 22, 2020
7,164
You haven't got me bored at all.

I feel the same sometimes, especially when my bipolar disorder is on its DOWNS MODE.

You know you can count on me, dear.

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Joey

Joey

Enlightened
Jun 14, 2020
1,432
I think I'm about done because I've realized on how lonely I am and how I've fucked up my life. Kind of a long story but I get your pain.
 
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fred farkle

fred farkle

Specialist
Dec 17, 2020
346
very sad post. i know some of the feelings you have. i also feel that the one who could make my life hopeful,is gone. shit. i dont know what to do.
 
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