illandlonely
just a little dumb
- Sep 6, 2024
- 33
I'm not exactly extremely morbidly obese but I'm always hungry. I'm never satisfied either, I can get full enough to where I want to throw up but I'm not satisfied. It's like I hate myself so much I deserve to eat till I chock and die.
I'm like an empty all consuming dark pit of dispare that craves more and more food and is never happy about it. I want to feel whole, I want to be content, I want to be happy.When the thoughts get too much I start wanting to binge on anything I can just so my brain can try to shut up. I don't even know if it feels good to eat either, I eat so fast it's gone before I can taste it.
I've seen my bank add up how much I spend on take out and food, it's like more than half of my income, gone to my never ending gluttony. I don't deserve this food, I'm a waste of fuel, and yet I require more.
My parents always judged me on this, now that there no where near me I've resorted to binging as much as I can afford. If I was rich I'd eat till I ctb, I think that would be my ideal method in a perfect world. And I'm absolutely disgusted by myself because of it.
I'm like an empty all consuming dark pit of dispare that craves more and more food and is never happy about it. I want to feel whole, I want to be content, I want to be happy.When the thoughts get too much I start wanting to binge on anything I can just so my brain can try to shut up. I don't even know if it feels good to eat either, I eat so fast it's gone before I can taste it.
I've seen my bank add up how much I spend on take out and food, it's like more than half of my income, gone to my never ending gluttony. I don't deserve this food, I'm a waste of fuel, and yet I require more.
My parents always judged me on this, now that there no where near me I've resorted to binging as much as I can afford. If I was rich I'd eat till I ctb, I think that would be my ideal method in a perfect world. And I'm absolutely disgusted by myself because of it.