Venting Ill be very mad at myself if i I don't go through it this time

[737492]

Mom and stepdad are out of the house until sunday. There's not really anyone who would visit so this is the perfect time to do it; I'll leave all of my dog's food out so she'll have enough to eat until they come back.

I really want to take this opportunity but I'm scared. I'm so tired of being too scared to follow through with my plans, because every time I give up and continue to live life ends up disappointing me again.

If I miss this chance I'll never forgive myself. I want to stop being such a fucking coward. I want my body to realize that death is the best thing for me because the only alternative is being miserable.

 

[WornOutLife]

I'm really sorry you're feeling like this but at the same time, I want you to be at peace. We don't deserve to suffer in this goddamn world.

May I ask what your method will be?

 

[737492]

I'm really sorry you're feeling like this but at the same time, I want you to be at peace. We don't deserve to suffer in this goddamn world.

May I ask what your method will be?

Taking lots of sleeping pills and drowning in my bathtub. Either that or jumping off my building

 

[WornOutLife]

Taking lots of sleeping pills and drowning in my bathtub. Either that or jumping off my building

I see.
I did something like that but was planning to hang myself (partial).
However, I passed out way too fast.

As for jumping, I could never do it. My body just wouldn't move.

 

[737492]

I see.
I did something like that but was planning to hang myself (partial).
However, I passed out way too fast.

As for jumping, I could never do it. My body just wouldn't move.

I've also considered jumping before but couldn't go through it. I dont know, I'm still trying to find out if there's any drug that will inhibit my fear

 

[WornOutLife]

I've also considered jumping before but couldn't go through it. I dont know, I'm still trying to find out if there's any drug that will inhibit my fear

Something I forgot to mention: I was able to supress my SI thanks to the OD of sleeping pills and anti-depressants but alcohol helped me too.

I wonder if I could jump off a building when being drunk...
Deffo I'm gonna try it some day.

 

[737492]

Something I forgot to mention: I was able to supress my SI thanks to the OD of sleeping pills and anti-depressants but alcohol helped me too.

I wonder if I could jump off a building by being drunk...
Deffo I'm gonna try it some day.

I'm sorry. It's kinda hypocritical of me to say this when I'm so suicidal myself, but I hope you find peace and live a happy life

 

[A_miStake_of_NATURE]

Mom and stepdad are out of the house until sunday. There's not really anyone who would visit so this is the perfect time to do it; I'll leave all of my dog's food out so she'll have enough to eat until they come back.

I really want to take this opportunity but I'm scared. I'm so tired of being too scared to follow through with my plans, because every time I give up and continue to live life ends up disappointing me again.

If I miss this chance I'll never forgive myself. I want to stop being such a fucking coward. I want my body to realize that death is the best thing for me because the only alternative is being miserable.

I've been there too. I wasn't being able to follow through.... twice.... have taken ibuprofen and AE and antacid, but couldn't really drink SN....
Feeling like the biggest loser.
I want you to find peace in whatever it might be, life or death.

 

[fred farkle]

if you get scared and cant do it...maybe that means your subconscious is telling you "not today." dont be so hard on yourself. i wish you peace!!

 

[A_miStake_of_NATURE]

if you get scared and cant do it...maybe that means your subconscious is telling you "not today." dont be so hard on yourself. i wish you peace!!

thank you.

I just think if you don't believe you belong here and have no idea what to do with your life, it's definitely the time.....

 

[crybaby]

I understand your feelings , and I am in the same situation as you.