Venting I wish I could've just told someone

[sillyboy98]

I've been depressed and suicidal since I was about 12. Hell, I did some things that, looking back, were clearly self harm when I was like 8. But somehow, talking about it has been so difficult. It took me to age 22 to get into therapy (and even then I lied by saying I was just having sleeping problems). My parents don't know, my friends (if I can even call them that at this point) dont know, my coworkers don't know.

What if I could tell them I'm struggling? Hell, every day I wish I just had the guts to tell my mom how I'm actually feeling. How lonely I am. How difficult even te smallest things in life are.

What if I had told my parents? All those years ago? That I was feeling so bad, so empty, so alone, like such a failure. Maybe they could've helped. Maybe, just maybe, I'd have had a chance to have a bit of happiness. Too late now I guess, oh well...

 

[Harris]

I wish I could've told someone too

 

[WitheredHeights]

Do you honestly think it would've changed anything if you had told them? Would your words have been enough to stir forth the ancient memory of compassion?

 

[cazza82]

I've been depressed and suicidal since I was about 12. Hell, I did some things that, looking back, were clearly self harm when I was like 8. But somehow, talking about it has been so difficult. It took me to age 22 to get into therapy (and even then I lied by saying I was just having sleeping problems). My parents don't know, my friends (if I can even call them that at this point) dont know, my coworkers don't know.

What if I could tell them I'm struggling? Hell, every day I wish I just had the guts to tell my mom how I'm actually feeling. How lonely I am. How difficult even te smallest things in life are.

What if I had told my parents? All those years ago? That I was feeling so bad, so empty, so alone, like such a failure. Maybe they could've helped. Maybe, just maybe, I'd have had a chance to have a bit of happiness. Too late now I guess, oh well...

I told my therapist last week she's the only person I've ever told and it helped me I still have those thoughts but I also want to go see her every week

 

[SVEN]

I hope coming here and being able to safely vent with others who feel similarly may be of some comfort and relief for you.