Venting I want to die like yesterday

[Livingvsdying25]

Like im sick of people say stupid shit like "weather is nice today hope ur able to enjoy some sunshine"

I FUCKING HATE SUMMER/HEAT. IT ADDS SO MUCH ANXIETY.

I AM NOT CAPABLE OF GOING AND BEING OUTSIDE A LOT OF THE TIME.
STOP FUCKING GENERALIZING.

But that's all there is and usually I accommodate by giving some "hopeful" or positive response even tho I can't do any of that. But just to be not be a downer.

I just woke up and I fucking hàte being alive. I don't enjoy anything. Nothing brings me joy. I have a low/very limited physical capacity.

So my life is just shit.

Haaa no plans to die yet... like nothing concrete yet. Like no set date but my plans are getting more clear.

Thinking mostly N but basically just tryna think about the costs right now.

I might've done something successful this morning to help with the financial piece but yeah.


Thinking I can live and be anything more than the bottom barral bitch that I am, IS A JOKE.

I'm fucking nothing. I can't wait to stop having to wake up. To stop having to try. To STOP having to emember to keep up with mundane SHIT like cleaning and all that fucking crap.

I just want LIFE AND LIVING TO FUCKING STOP.

Like that's it. I just want life to fucking stop. Not to fucking go through bullshit hardships for the basics.

Haaa... that's why impulsive attempts are so enticing.
Like I don't have the vitaloty to live and i wonder how the fuck ima get enough to die.

Haaa just gonna research some household methods BUT they are usually pretty painful(which I dont care about) and less chance of sucess (which i care about but syarting to care less its more like...

Like I JUST WANNA DIE LIKE YESTERDAY. I DON'T CARE WHAT IT TAKES BUT I DON'T HAVE THE ENERGY FOR ANYTHING. UGH.

I DON'T WANT TO FUCKING BE ALIVE ANYMORE.

 

[logan]

I can well understand your thoughts. This is hell.

Good weather doesn't feel "right" because you feel so bad.

 

[BottomlessPit]

I can relate to your desperation. Impulsive suicide looks so enticing, I just want to get the fuck out of this shithole with all its embarrassments and useless responsibilities.

But I try to keep my discipline and wait for the right moment. A botched suicide attempt would make everything so much worse. We want to escape the pain, not invite it. I know it's difficult, but I hope you find the strength to wait a little longer until everything is ready. Comfort yourself with the knowledge that with enough planning and consideration, your suicide will work flawlessly.

 

[Livingvsdying25]

I can relate to your desperation. Impulsive suicide looks so enticing, I just want to get the fuck out of this shithole with all its embarrassments and useless responsibilities.

But I try to keep my discipline and wait for the right moment. A botched suicide attempt would make everything so much worse. We want to escape the pain, not invite it. I know it's difficult, but I hope you find the strength to wait a little longer until everything is ready. Comfort yourself with the knowledge that with enough planning and consideration, your suicide will work flawlessly.

Yeah a botched suicide doesn't even sound that bad anymore. I don't see how anything could possible get worse.

Im already basically fully disabled most of time anyway so.

Meh.

 

[WornOutLife]

I want life and living to fuc*ing stop too, my friend.

Hugs,

Matt

 

[FuneralCry]

This life really can be hard. I can relate to how you feel, I would love to stop existing. It sucks as dying requires planning and courage, so I often feel as if I am trapped on this earth. If only we could have an easy peaceful way out if we wanted one. Humans don't deserve to suffer. I hope you can find some relief.

 

[IWantToSleep]

I'm going through a lot of anxiety too. The weather can be a sore reminder of how others are enjoying life and I'm not.

 

[Beachedwhale]

I'm going through a lot of anxiety too. The weather can be a sore reminder of how others are enjoying life and I'm not.

Same here. Really dreading it. Its driving me to ctb much sooner rather than later.