i miss my mother

[loumay52]

she died a year ago. a week after my 19th birthday.

after she died, and an involuntary hospital stay, i had to move in with an overcrowded apartment on my fathers side. ive barely interacted with them childhood, needing me to sleep on the floor. i have no real friends, and the only ones i do technically have are just the same echoes of "dont do it" or "i care about you".

im forced to go to work to smile and act like everything is together, but i want to give up every single day. its all so hopeless. so useless. i wish i could escape so i could live a free life, expressing myself however i pleased. all i want is a better life for myself, and circumstances in and out of my control make it impossible.

thanks for reading if you did. i wish i was famous. i wish i was someone valued.

 

[whywere]

Let me be VERY clear to begin with, you are SO VERY valuable.

2nd, I am so sorry about your mom's passing, and you have all my heartfelt love towards her, and you are also.

I am, at my older age, much more that the sun WILL come up in the morning, and one never knows what is in store for a person. For me, usually look at the good and what might happen positive for me today and I wish so darn hard for the same for you.

In my business life, I have dealt with every type of person from a start-up business to head honchos, and I would never ever want to be famous, too much baggage for me, nope never.

Like I have mentioned on here, I have had folks pass on that I knew and liked and they liked me also, and I always honor them, by helping others, trying my darndest to bring a smile to someone's face and at the end of the day when I retire and say my even prayers, I have a wave of such a good feeling wash over me, not only a payback from that day, BUT knowing that I honored folks who are not with us any more by bring a smile to a poor soul's face and I wish the exact same for you also.

It is so obvious from your post, just what a kind and thoughtful soul you are, so wonderful and make your mom proud, you might not see it each and every day BUT it is there and as time moves on, the good WILL come to you also.

Never say never is what I always think each and every day and I fully believe in YOU, and your time WILL come, and your mom will be watching from heaven with a huge smile on her face, which will put a huge smile on you also.

I am 69 and I can say that this has happened to me and it will to/for you also and it is a wonderous feeling.

Hugs and sunny blue skies with so many well wishes to you, my awesome friend.

Walter