I keep thinking about it.

[la mer]

My plans aren't cohesive (is that the right term for it?) It's literally just overdose on your medication and wait. and I really want to do it but I can't because if I do survive (which I probably will because I fail at everything), my loved ones and their reactions will fill me with so much guilt. but I want to do it so bad. like tonight. But at the same time,... I don't know. I really don't know.