sonax22
god
- Mar 25, 2019
- 68
I've been trying to kill myself for over 4 years,several attempts and nothing is working..!
I want to do the methods suggested here,but I can't purchace anything and I don't want my family to know that I died killing myself!
I've been thinking last night about how long will I be here? To try and fail everytime And I've been pretty lucky to not get caught!
Will I still be in this state after 5 years? Because I already asked myself that years ago and I'm still here and That scares the crap out of me,I'm just really terrified that I will Still be alive for many years to come!
So I just want it to happen as soon as possible.
I decided that I will make a promise to myself that I will only give myself a maximum of one week to live and try to find a way out before the week ends!
I feel like it would fail like everything I else tried but hey what's so bad about trying it out?!
I figured this would be a good idea because I realized that you achieve something much more when you set time restricted goal and when you talk about it to other people.
I figured I'll get pressured into it and Would be afraid to fail infront of others.
I'll try my hardest and do everything I can to die at the end of this week no matter how hard it is or no matter how much my survival instincts come into play..
This is my life and I get to choose if I live it or not and I accept that it's not for me and I will not fight anymore. I will die knowing that I tried my best and lived just as I was born to to live like.
this is not a coward escape,it's a brave realization.accepting death is a harder thing to do then living with the fear of it.! Maybe my next life will be a a better one :) I am happy knowing that I will not suffer anymore and I wish that the people around me would understand that even though it's impossible.
I wish everyone here luck in anything they choose,whether to live or to die,thank you for being a community that's accepting and caring :)
Now I'm not sure if after this week I will truly die or I will still be here,but no harm in trying!
Starting at March 28th.2019
Ending at April 3rd.2019
Wish me luck :)
I want to do the methods suggested here,but I can't purchace anything and I don't want my family to know that I died killing myself!
I've been thinking last night about how long will I be here? To try and fail everytime And I've been pretty lucky to not get caught!
Will I still be in this state after 5 years? Because I already asked myself that years ago and I'm still here and That scares the crap out of me,I'm just really terrified that I will Still be alive for many years to come!
So I just want it to happen as soon as possible.
I decided that I will make a promise to myself that I will only give myself a maximum of one week to live and try to find a way out before the week ends!
I feel like it would fail like everything I else tried but hey what's so bad about trying it out?!
I figured this would be a good idea because I realized that you achieve something much more when you set time restricted goal and when you talk about it to other people.
I figured I'll get pressured into it and Would be afraid to fail infront of others.
I'll try my hardest and do everything I can to die at the end of this week no matter how hard it is or no matter how much my survival instincts come into play..
This is my life and I get to choose if I live it or not and I accept that it's not for me and I will not fight anymore. I will die knowing that I tried my best and lived just as I was born to to live like.
this is not a coward escape,it's a brave realization.accepting death is a harder thing to do then living with the fear of it.! Maybe my next life will be a a better one :) I am happy knowing that I will not suffer anymore and I wish that the people around me would understand that even though it's impossible.
I wish everyone here luck in anything they choose,whether to live or to die,thank you for being a community that's accepting and caring :)
Now I'm not sure if after this week I will truly die or I will still be here,but no harm in trying!
Starting at March 28th.2019
Ending at April 3rd.2019
Wish me luck :)
