Venting I hate myself and want to end this nightmare

[Slayer]

I hate myself and my life. I barely left my room for over a year, my skin is extremely pale, I gained a ton of weight and can barely fit into my old clothes. I just want to end this nightmare, nothing more, nothing less. Once and forever. Nothing is ever going to get better, I dropped out of university, have no friends and don't talk to anyone. I will probably call one of those lifelines to see if the person on the other end can tell me something that could help me but I doubt.

I have SN so that's the way I will end it. I hate literary everything on this planet.

 

[crova]

Im in the hole like yours, you just had six months more to dig deeper.
I quit my job, cut contacts with family and friends. I talked once since October...
I know how it feels; more or less.

Call them, talk to someone real.

 

[Slayer]

I'd call them right now but my boring parents are around all the time. We pretend everything is fine even though nothing is fine. I had an appointment with psychiatrist back in September but never went because I'm in a middle of nowhere and don't have a car. I've found a room in a shared apartment in a city nearby, I'll probably move there in March and kill myself soon after.