Story I gave my guns to my friend for safe keeping.

[traingirl]

Well, I don't know if I'm going to regret this but right now I'm in recovery so I gave my friend my guns for safe keeping until my Seroquel withdrawal passes. When I first started tapering off my Seroquel and antidepressant, my intention was to get worse so I could override si, not feel better. But, as I gradually started tapering off Seroquel, the better I've felt. I went from 50 mg down to 25mg now and my sleep is worse but mentally, I feel so much better ironically. I want to live again. I start ketamine therapy next week. I didn't sell the guns so I can always get them back if I decide I want to CTB again, provided my friend trusts me. My guns used to bring me a sense of comfort but now they just give me anxiety, and them being gone has genuinely made me feel so at ease. I no longer have access to any viable method at home. I know I'm in for some rough nights going off the Seroquel, but my worst insomnia pre Seroquel was better than my entire time on Seroquel. I now found one culprit to my suicidal ideation. Did I do the right thing in getting rid of my guns for now?

 

[continuing]

I think you did, if you want to recover, the best thing to do is get away from any "easy way outs", you can

 

[zombiegirl]

you made the right choice, and it's crazy to think seroquel was the reason for your suicidal ideation. just keep an eye on your friend

 

[frightful-venison]

I think this is the right move. Access to guns can make it a little too easy to make a quick impulsive decision based on a sudden change in emotion or circumstance. I'm glad that you've found at least the first few steps of a path forward. I hope you can recover enough to live life the way you want to.

 

[traingirl]

you made the right choice, and it's crazy to think seroquel was the reason for your suicidal ideation. just keep an eye on your friend

Yeah, I'm really shocked honestly. I was only passively suicidal dealing with insomnia in the past. Got on the Seroquel to deal with the insomnia and slept better but wanted to kill myself actively every single day I took it. Only reason I didn't was SI was so strong. Her fiancé is going to keep it locked in her dad's gun safe for me until I feel safe enough to have them.

 

[author]

Like the others said I think you did the right thing. Sometimes anti-depressants ironically do the opposite of what they're supposed to if they're too high a dose or just like, not compatible with you since everyone's different with how they respond to meds like that. Hope the ketamine works out for you, I've heard good things about that.