i wish i had a girlfriend that i could spend time with, but my life is a mess rn. i purposefully deny myself any chance at love because i feel like I'm unlovable and not deserving of love, even though all i want more than anything is to love someone.
i don't have too many issues getting along with people, i joke around and have fun with my classmates and roommates, but i always sabotage myself from forming any real connections with anyone. i distance and isolate myself because forming real relationships scares me. anytime i overheard people having serious conversations about things, it always feels like everyone around me is just so much more mature and put together then me. i tell myself I don't deserve friends or love. i can barely even stand fucking writing this because every thought just makes me hate myself more. why do i do this to myself? i know what i should do to make things better, but i never do them. i just fuck things up more and act sad about myself. i don't even think i know how to make and manage a relationship anymore as this point. i barely even know how to talk to people without preemptively sabotaging myself every chance i get. i just want a fucking girlfriend, i want to feel all the cute, lovey dovey shit you see in memes and shit. it fucking eats away at me every day
i don't have too many issues getting along with people, i joke around and have fun with my classmates and roommates, but i always sabotage myself from forming any real connections with anyone. i distance and isolate myself because forming real relationships scares me. anytime i overheard people having serious conversations about things, it always feels like everyone around me is just so much more mature and put together then me. i tell myself I don't deserve friends or love. i can barely even stand fucking writing this because every thought just makes me hate myself more. why do i do this to myself? i know what i should do to make things better, but i never do them. i just fuck things up more and act sad about myself. i don't even think i know how to make and manage a relationship anymore as this point. i barely even know how to talk to people without preemptively sabotaging myself every chance i get. i just want a fucking girlfriend, i want to feel all the cute, lovey dovey shit you see in memes and shit. it fucking eats away at me every day
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