Venting I feel terrible

[Faen]

Had plans to ctb yesterday evening, but I pussied out. Had plans to clean the apartment which is a huge mess, but it got to much. Just felt so overwhelmed, there was too much on my plate. Just layed on the couch all night instead.

I let myself down and I feel like shit. Im not sure If i can even do it. I just keep postponing everything and procrastinating. fuckkkkkk. I even postponed/ didnt bother to purchase SN which means Im just gonna hang myself. im desperate, but lazy.

maybe next week

 

[NotWorthLiving]

Hey,

You sound upset. Did you want to tall about it more?

I think quite a few of us have felt like you are now. Its probably one of the worse feelings ever jn my opinion.

If you want, you can elaborate here or message me.

I'm not really sure what to say at the moment that would be constructive.

 

[Whiskeyjames]

I feel the same... I was here a month ago then someone who care about me saved me... But now I'm back in this shit again... Hanging? Tried and fail but guess it worth trying again... Just remember Tony ronbins said if you have a goal, you must pursue it no matter what ...

 

[Whiskeyjames]

I guess I'm again too focusing on my own instead of ppl around me or supported me . Haha damn if I die I would become the joke of my family and friends (at least from my culture)

 

[Lifeisatrap]

This sounds like me, and when I do manage to pull myself out from my lazy stooper and gather up the courage to get what I need it's never available:(

I feel the same... I was here a month ago then someone who care about me saved me... But now I'm back in this shit again... Hanging? Tried and fail but guess it worth trying again... Just remember Tony ronbins said if you have a goal, you must pursue it no matter what ...

I don't think Tony Robbins would approve of his words being used in this context lol.

 

[Faen]

Hey,

You sound upset. Did you want to tall about it more?

I think quite a few of us have felt like you are now. Its probably one of the worse feelings ever jn my opinion.

If you want, you can elaborate here or message me.

I'm not really sure what to say at the moment that would be constructive.

Sorry for late response, anxiety got the best of me. not sure if i can elaborate, I just feel more empty than usual, with a mix of anger and disappointment.
I didnt even attempt it, I just pussied out.

Next time im not taking a shower before, atleast I learned that.

 

[Faen]

I guess I'm again too focusing on my own instead of ppl around me or supported me . Haha damn if I die I would become the joke of my family and friends (at least from my culture)

Atleast you wouldnt be around to hear it, I guess ..

Im the same, I only focus on me and keep others away. I intenionally pushed everyone away from me so it would be easier to ctb, but my mom wont give me up which only makes it worse.

 

[John Smith]

I feel the same... I was here a month ago then someone who care about me saved me... But now I'm back in this shit again... Hanging? Tried and fail but guess it worth trying again... Just remember Tony ronbins said if you have a goal, you must pursue it no matter what ...

Did you fail at full suspension?

 

[Whiskeyjames]

Atleast you wouldnt be around to hear it, I guess ..

Im the same, I only focus on me and keep others away. I intenionally pushed everyone away from me so it would be easier to ctb, but my mom wont give me up which only makes it worse.

Fucking same my friend, her fucking unconditional love is making thing worse, the fact that I couldn't return the love in this life... Sounds so unfair to her... How could such a good person gave birth to a ungrateful fuck like me...

 

[21Neberg]

Don't feel bad at all friend. Suicide is extremely hard and if you need more time to get ready, then that's exactly what you should do. Think about it this way: otherwise you would have rushed the attempt, and rushed attempts always fail!

 

[Smashingairwaves]

i felt the same. I put off buying everything for ages.

Then I just said fuck it and bought everything. Threw away all my anxiety over it, and I hope it works.

I hope you find the motivation you need

 

[meowcat]

I guess I'm again too focusing on my own instead of ppl around me or supported me . Haha damn if I die I would become the joke of my family and friends (at least from my culture)

Yeah I would also be a kind of a joke but I don't think we need to think about these things.Especially because when we ctb there will be no you and no me to even know anything.So why care?
But i can relate to what you're saying.

 

[Faen]

i felt the same. I put off buying everything for ages.

Then I just said fuck it and bought everything. Threw away all my anxiety over it, and I hope it works.

I hope you find the motivation you need

I wish..Everything is so blurry and I find it difficult to actually research what I need for Sn, so that's why I decided to go for the old rope.

I guess I can't go wrong with a classic!