Venting I feel so dumb and confused lol what is this SI

[Spaghettii]

I'm laughing at my self so much i had to get it out. It's just so absurd and idiotic to me and probably only me :|

I placed my SN order 18 days ago, and they are arriving today in an hour or so (I'm tracking them on the map like a maniac lol).

I have also placed an order for a cauple of dumb looking fake cloud slides or whatever they're called and I'm vigorously following them on the map too, and they're about to deliver today before noon.

And suddenly it just hit me... that I'm equally excited for both?? Hello?? Is death a joke to me?? Or am i just too enthusiastic about some dumb slippers?? When am i gonna wear them even?? With all the shit I'm going through, are these slippers the ones that gonna save me from CTB?? Wtf is wrong with me this doesn't make any sense. Is this how my SI is trying to kick in??? With some stoooopid slides??? Really??? I feel like a kid who's getting distracted by a keychain. No even a tasty lollipop, a dumb useless metal-tasting keychain. This is the last thing i expected from my brain. It's just so absurd!! Doesn't make sense. Tbf I'm mentally in a place where nothing makes any sense anyway and everything seems pointless and meaningless but lol didn't expect my SI to be like, "hej look at the new slides they're so pwetty let's not CTB it'll get better yay". My forehead is burning after all the face-palms.

Anyway this was a nice little break from life.
ok byeeee

 

[finallydone]

i think it's totally normal, i'm planning to ctb in a few hours but still bought a nice pair of sneakers a couple of weeks ago, just in case you know

 

[Spaghettii]

i think it's totally normal, i'm planning to ctb in a few hours but still bought a nice pair of sneakers a couple of weeks ago, just in case you know

i want to give u a hug but i can't do reactions yet

 

[KillingPain267]

Well, if we gotta go out, we should go out with style right.

 

[Spaghettii]

Well, if we gotta go out, we should go out with style right.

lol i guess so. It feels so weird to laugh in this fucked up time. I think my brain is trying its hardest to ignore what's happening.

 

[rozeske]

Perfectly normal. Some of the silliest things that made me postpone my plans. Enjoy it as long as it's there. The bus ain't going anywhere.

 

[Spaghettii]

The bus ain't going anywhere.

huh... think i needed to hear that. Thank u.

 

[NoPoint2Life]

I am not encouraging you to ctb at all. But I find it very relatable. Perhaps if you leave a note, you can write that you want to be buried in them? At least then you will get a lot of use out of them!

 

[Spaghettii]

I am not encouraging you to ctb at all. But I find it very relatable. Perhaps if you leave a note, you can write that you want to be buried in them? At least then you will get a lot of use out of them!

lolol smart!! They're so stupid looking tho I'm afraid no one will take me seriously in afterlife lolll

 

[justpathetic]

I'm laughing at my self so much i had to get it out. It's just so absurd and idiotic to me and probably only me :|

I placed my SN order 18 days ago, and they are arriving today in an hour or so (I'm tracking them on the map like a maniac lol).

I have also placed an order for a cauple of dumb looking fake cloud slides or whatever they're called and I'm vigorously following them on the map too, and they're about to deliver today before noon.

And suddenly it just hit me... that I'm equally excited for both?? Hello?? Is death a joke to me?? Or am i just too enthusiastic about some dumb slippers?? When am i gonna wear them even?? With all the shit I'm going through, are these slippers the ones that gonna save me from CTB?? Wtf is wrong with me this doesn't make any sense. Is this how my SI is trying to kick in??? With some stoooopid slides??? Really??? I feel like a kid who's getting distracted by a keychain. No even a tasty lollipop, a dumb useless metal-tasting keychain. This is the last thing i expected from my brain. It's just so absurd!! Doesn't make sense. Tbf I'm mentally in a place where nothing makes any sense anyway and everything seems pointless and meaningless but lol didn't expect my SI to be like, "hej look at the new slides they're so pwetty let's not CTB it'll get better yay". My forehead is burning after all the face-palms.

Anyway this was a nice little break from life.
ok byeeee

Some studies have shown your brain can really only concentrate on one thing at a time. Also studies have shown it gets burnt out from constant obsessing over one thing especially if that thing is stressful. So it may be your brain trying to give itself a break. I know I do this same thing all the time and it absolutely makes you question your own intent and "autheticity".

 

[KillingPain267]

lol i guess so. It feels so weird to laugh in this fucked up time. I think my brain is trying its hardest to ignore what's happening.

Yep. Sometimes I go from being sad to become so sarcastic about reality instead, that it almost acts as a numbing agent.