Venting I feel so alone

[sonax22]

My best friend hates me and I don't think he considers me his friend anymore.
My other friend is having fun and I can't talk to him because I don't want to ruin it for him.
I can't stop crying and I feel myself slipping into a panic attack..I want to talk to them but I can't..I ruined their lives enough!
I can't take it..god I hate those nights so much! Why do I have to feel the need to talk to people why do I gotta talk to them why can't I just go through it alone why do I have to bring others into it

 

[silentsinger]

I'm so sorry. I get this virtually daily. Sobbing my heart out, sometimes just wishing there was someone I could turn to, to hug me and someone to care.
It is natural for you to want to talk to people. It is totally normal to want companionship.
If he is your friend, he would want to help you and I highly doubt he would want you to be suffering alone like this. Maybe it would be worth reaching out to him? I wouldn't have thought he would feel that you are 'ruining his fun'.
I send you my love and a big internet hug.

 

[sonax22]

I'm so sorry. I get this virtually daily. Sobbing my heart out, sometimes just wishing there was someone I could turn to, to hug me and someone to care.
It is natural for you to want to talk to people. It is totally normal to want companionship.
If he is your friend, he would want to help you and I highly doubt he would want you to be suffering alone like this. Maybe it would be worth reaching out to him? I wouldn't have thought he would feel that you are 'ruining his fun'.
I send you my love and a big internet hug.

Thank you very much,you a are a nice human being. It's just that he's been down for a while and now he's finally happy and good,that would just be selfish of me to go to him with my problems :( thank you again.i wish that you feel better <3

 

[silentsinger]

Thank you very much,you a are a nice human being. It's just that he's been down for a while and now he's finally happy and good,that would just be selfish of me to go to him with my problems :( thank you again.i wish that you feel better <3

Thank you, i can't remember the last time someone said that to me. That means such a lot. You are a nice human being too, for one you're worried about your friend even though you feel like this. If he has been down then i like to think he will understand your need for someone to talk to. After all, I'll bet there were times when he was feeling down that he was very grateful to have your companionship.
In the meantime there are people on this forum who really do care and will listen to you. Thank you so much for your kind words too.

 

[sonax22]

Thank you, i can't remember the last time someone said that to me. That means such a lot. You are a nice human being too, for one you're worried about your friend even though you feel like this. If he has been down then i like to think he will understand your need for someone to talk to. After all, I'll bet there were times when he was feeling down that he was very grateful to have your companionship.
In the meantime there are people on this forum who really do care and will listen to you. Thank you so much for your kind words too.

Awwh I'm glad..you're awesome..thank you <3

 

[silentsinger]

I hope you are feeling a little bit better today?

 

[Jodes]

why do I have to bring others into it

I just bring everyone into my problems until they run away :-D
You're not selfish. You should ask them to help, people enjoy helping. The nicer ones anyway.

 

[Cookiedough8956]

Thats how I feel. I wanna keep things from people, but i just fucking can't. I feel like a drama queen at the same time.
This is esp true once I'm close to someone.I don't wanna drag ppl into it either, and unfortunately I do, and the connection gets fucked up.

 

[silentsinger]

Thats how I feel. I wanna keep things from people, but i just fucking can't. I feel like a drama queen at the same time.
This is esp true once I'm close to someone.I don't wanna drag ppl into it either, and unfortunately I do, and the connection gets fucked up.

I can relate to that. I'm in an awful state tonight, I would give anything to have a couple of my old friends with me now so I can see them before I go. I'm just crying non stop and I feel broken. At the same time I am awful at just saying 'I need to talk'. It's because of that though that I have lost everyone and I no longer have anyone to go to.

 

[Cookiedough8956]

I can relate to that. I'm in an awful state tonight, I would give anything to have a couple of my old friends with me now so I can see them before I go. I'm just crying non stop and I feel broken. At the same time I am awful at just saying 'I need to talk'. It's because of that though that I have lost everyone and I no longer have anyone to go to.

i'm so sorry you're feeling this way. Honestly.
Im at the point I'm just so dead about this- I've cried endlessly about this too, and it's just the same cycle over and over.

i can't tell ppl either I need to talk- actually I just hope they (or whoever I'm close to atm) catch on to what im feeling (ik that sounds pathetic), but it really saves me the anxiety of even bringing it up. (plus- i can't even pretend and lie and my bf knows this very well lol)

The silence ppl take as a "stuck up behavior" and so they drop me thinking idc about them or think that i think that i'm better than them. ha, far from it.

 

[silentsinger]

Exactly. It's not like we don't care. I care so much about others but I've made to feel that I don't matter anymore by people I was once so close to. It's not as though I can even help the illness I have that has got me into this mess. I don't know if I'm making any sense, I am so distressed atm. Sorry.

 

[Cookiedough8956]

Exactly. It's not like we don't care. I care so much about others but I've made to feel that I don't matter anymore by people I was once so close to. It's not as though I can even help the illness I have that has got me into this mess. I don't know if I'm making any sense, I am so distressed atm. Sorry.

I gotcha dont worry.
It does amaze me how the hell they manage to drop me so quickly, I never mattered in the first place then.
They prob think I chose this or something, attn seekign, etc.

 

[silentsinger]

I gotcha dont worry.
It does amaze me how the hell they manage to drop me so quickly, I never mattered in the first place then.
They prob think I chose this or something, attn seekign, etc.

I'm sorry to hear that. I know, it just rips your heart out how people you were so close to can just totally cast you aside. I had hoped to spend my remaining time making some lovely memories but now it has all come to this and the physical and emotional pain is too much for me.
It says more about them, you've done nothing wrong and nobody can help how they feel. I'm truly sorry that you are going through that, I really am.
I'm so sorry @ladyinblack, I've written too much on your thread.

 

[Cookiedough8956]

I'm sorry to hear that. I know, it just rips your heart out how people you were so close to can just totally cast you aside. I had hoped to spend my remaining time making some lovely memories but now it has all come to this and the physical and emotional pain is too much for me.
It says more about them, you've done nothing wrong and nobody can help how they feel. I'm truly sorry that you are going through that, I really am.

Thanks I'm glad you can understand . That itself means a lot. you know, most often ppl shrug and be like ..oh wow. Sad. then once again...drop you.

I was hoping to make good memories too, guess thats not really an option now : /.
I really hope me and you can find peace one day, and everyone else on here too

 

[silentsinger]

Thanks I'm glad you can understand . That itself means a lot. you know, most often ppl shrug and be like ..oh wow. Sad. then once again...drop you.

I was hoping to make good memories too, guess thats not really an option now : /.
I really hope me and you can find peace one day, and everyone else on here too

I'm glad and thank you for your kind words. Thank you, I hope you find peace too.

 

[Lara Francis]

My best friend hates me and I don't think he considers me his friend anymore.
My other friend is having fun and I can't talk to him because I don't want to ruin it for him.
I can't stop crying and I feel myself slipping into a panic attack..I want to talk to them but I can't..I ruined their lives enough!
I can't take it..god I hate those nights so much! Why do I have to feel the need to talk to people why do I gotta talk to them why can't I just go through it alone why do I have to bring others into it

I am sorry for your pain.Maybe talking is your cry for help - there is no shame in needing support if thats what you want.

Depression and suicidal thoughts are so tough to cope with.I think friends that have not expierenced such issues try hard to understand but after a while think we should feel better !
I guess sometimes,they dont know what to say or do.
I feel as if i infringe on my friends and often feel a burden.I know this is proberly me being parinoid because they have told me otherwise.I think its normal to feel as if we drag others down but despair knows no boundaries.we are always here for you if u want to talk. X

 

[reginafilangie]

I don't just feel alone, I am actually alone.

 

[silentsinger]

I don't just feel alone, I am actually alone.

I know and it is just such an awful feeling. I hope you feel that you could talk on here if you wanted to. I always feel grateful to for advice/support/conversation so I wouldn't ever mind.

 

[reginafilangie]

I know and it is just such an awful feeling. I hope you feel that you could talk on here if you wanted to. I always feel grateful to for advice/support/conversation so I wouldn't ever mind.

To be honest it almost makes it worse because it's not actually real. What I mean by that is you don't know me and I don't know you. I'm not really sure why I joined. I want my old life back, or I want to be taken out of my misery.

 

[silentsinger]

I'm sorry, I'm just in a lot of pain too and I wanted to help. I promise I didn't mean to make you feel worse, I'm sorry.

 

[reginafilangie]

I'm sorry, I'm just in a lot of pain too and I wanted to help. I promise I didn't mean to make you feel worse, I'm sorry.

It's not you, it's me. No need to apologize I posted publicly and you were only trying to help

 

[Kikoo Loool]

My best friend hates me and I don't think he considers me his friend anymore.
My other friend is having fun and I can't talk to him because I don't want to ruin it for him.
I can't stop crying and I feel myself slipping into a panic attack..I want to talk to them but I can't..I ruined their lives enough!
I can't take it..god I hate those nights so much! Why do I have to feel the need to talk to people why do I gotta talk to them why can't I just go through it alone why do I have to bring others into it

You can talk here, people will listen to you, i will. Vent, rant or just talk.

 

[sonax22]

I hope you are feeling a little bit better today?

Yes thank you very much for caring :) I hope you feel better too :(

I just bring everyone into my problems until they run away :-D
You're not selfish. You should ask them to help, people enjoy helping. The nicer ones anyway.

Yeah they just can't really deal with our shit as they like to say sometimes !
Thank you :)

Thats how I feel. I wanna keep things from people, but i just fucking can't. I feel like a drama queen at the same time.
This is esp true once I'm close to someone.I don't wanna drag ppl into it either, and unfortunately I do, and the connection gets fucked up.

Yeah me too :(( hope ur okay.!

I'm sorry to hear that. I know, it just rips your heart out how people you were so close to can just totally cast you aside. I had hoped to spend my remaining time making some lovely memories but now it has all come to this and the physical and emotional pain is too much for me.
It says more about them, you've done nothing wrong and nobody can help how they feel. I'm truly sorry that you are going through that, I really am.
I'm so sorry @ladyinblack, I've written too much on your thread.

No need to be sorry,It gives me great relief to find others talking about their issues..especially on my thread.
And I've certainly found a lot of common with both of your guys's Issues,which made me feel less alone so thank you.

I am sorry for your pain.Maybe talking is your cry for help - there is no shame in needing support if thats what you want.

Depression and suicidal thoughts are so tough to cope with.I think friends that have not expierenced such issues try hard to understand but after a while think we should feel better !
I guess sometimes,they dont know what to say or do.
I feel as if i infringe on my friends and often feel a burden.I know this is proberly me being parinoid because they have told me otherwise.I think its normal to feel as if we drag others down but despair knows no boundaries.we are always here for you if u want to talk. X

I relate to what you said a lot..it's very true thT they don't really know how to deal with such problems and I don't blame them!
It's tough !
Thank you so much :)

I don't just feel alone, I am actually alone.

Hope you feel better :(

You can talk here, people will listen to you, i will. Vent, rant or just talk.

Thank you so much :) people here are very kind like you :)

 

[Lady black]

I also feel alone, it´s one of my reasons, why I want to die

 

[sonax22]

I also feel alone, it´s one of my reasons, why I want to die

It feels so terrible :(
I hope things get better for you <3

 

[Lady black]

Thanks. Same for you. But for me there are many more reasons that will never get better, so I have to take a piece of rope and end all...

 

[sonax22]

Thanks. Same for you. But for me there are many more reasons that will never get better, so I have to take a piece of rope and end all...

Yeah me too but I just always have hope for others <3 even if ctb means things getting better <3 good luck :)

 

[Lady black]

Thanks, also good luck to you. I think hanging will be the best solution for me... And yes then it will be better

 

[limone]

I wish you good luck too