Venting I feel happier and nervous since I bought the SN.

[drakewantstogo]

Can't wait until it comes, I fantasize every minute about my day coming. Finally a escape from this shitty life and world I've had to live in. When the night comes, everytime, the thoughts of "why I wasn't worth enough for them" and "why have I always been the one pointed at" haunt me. It's horrible.
I'm just a shy guy who wanted the best for everyone around me at all costs and they've abused me for that. Left in the ground, with a lot of lies told to me and a lot of lies being told about me, I'm sure a lot of people will be glad if they know I'm gone.
I have only one friend, he lives 200km apart from me and he has work and his own friends, and I quitted studies and work, so I'm alone 99,9% of the day. Bored in front of my pc reading every single post from here since I don't know what else to do. Would love to play something but I have no one and playing alone is boring for me now. Counting the days until I receive my packages and also I have to do a couple things more, but then I can finally rest.

I'm sorry if it's bad written, English isn't my strong language.
Anyway, AMA if you want so I can have at least some conversation.

 

[JustOverIt]

Hey man,
I'm in the exact same position as you. Got everything I need for SN method though as every day creeps closer I'm becoming more and more nervous. What do you think the moments before trying to take the SN will be like?

 

[drakewantstogo]

Hey man,
I'm in the exact same position as you. Got everything I need for SN method though as every day creeps closer I'm becoming more and more nervous. What do you think the moments before trying to take the SN will be like?

It'll be a little be hard and I will be nervous but since it's an one-hour-job (taking the antiemetics, the zantac and then the SN) the hardest thing will be taking the antiemetics since I know I won't retreat from that point onwards and that that moment will be the one who kills me.

I'll start streaming Muse's Absolution, my favourite album, when 20 minutes are left for taking the SN and put it on loop to be the last thing I listen to.

 

[JustOverIt]

It'll be a little be hard and I will be nervous but since it's an one-hour-job (taking the antiemetics, the zantac and then the SN) the hardest thing will be taking the antiemetics since I know I won't retreat from that point onwards and that that moment will be the one who kills me.

I'll start streaming Muse's Absolution, my favourite album, when 20 minutes are left for taking the SN and put it on loop to be the last thing I listen to.

It's reassuring to hear someone else with the same sort of confidence in their ability to take the SN. I draw strength from people who have allegedly taken it but for one reason or another have failed. Makes me feel as if we have control over the decision and are not naively lying to ourselves.

I'll be definitely also listening to some sort of soothing music to guide me in my attempt.

Like yourself I've also distanced myself from my usual life. I rarely get out and spend most of my time at my pc simply passing the time. The hermit lifestyle has always suited my personality. I see no point in participating in the mundane acts of our society any longer.

 

[Psilo]

I'm waiting for my SN to arrive, still need to buy antiemetics and acid regulator.

I felt much better the moment I bought it, but I'm extremely anxious because I dont have it yet.
I hope no one from my folks will be suspicious of the package, otherwise I'm screwed for good.

Its the first time I feel so good in a long time, previously I was all about taxine poisoning (yew tree), but it just wasn't working for me and a pain to ingest.
Now I feel I can go through all this with sn.

Again I need to buy some more stuff, so I'm very stressed out, it will get better when I have everything safely in my possession I suppose.

Glad to see I'm not the only one feeling somehow liberated.
I'm a loner too, I just can't socialize somehow, I don't feel the need of if it since so long, I can't believe I reached 27 with all the shit and solitude I've been through all these years.
27 is a cool age to die IMHO, it just fits me, at least I can join the "cool people club", even if I'm some major failure.

May we all find our peace someway or another. SS will be my sanctuary until then.

I'm waiting for my SN to arrive, still need to buy antiemetics and acid regulator.

I felt much better the moment I bought it, but I'm extremely anxious because I dont have it yet.
I hope no one from my folks will be suspicious of the package, otherwise I'm screwed for good.

Its the first time I feel so good in a long time, previously I was all about taxine poisoning (yew tree), but it just wasn't working for me and a pain to ingest.
Now I feel I can go through all this with sn.

Again I need to buy some more stuff, so I'm very stressed out, it will get better when I have everything safely in my possession I suppose.

Glad to see I'm not the only one feeling somehow liberated.
I'm a loner too, I just can't socialize somehow, I don't feel the need of if it since so long, I can't believe I reached 27 with all the shit and solitude I've been through all these years.
27 is a cool age to die IMHO, it just fits me, at least I can join the "cool people club", even if I'm some major failure.

May we all find our peace someway or another. SS will be my sanctuary until then.

Just got an invoice for my sn, it has been shipped, now praying.

 

[drakewantstogo]

I'm waiting for my SN to arrive, still need to buy antiemetics and acid regulator.

I felt much better the moment I bought it, but I'm extremely anxious because I dont have it yet.
I hope no one from my folks will be suspicious of the package, otherwise I'm screwed for good.

Its the first time I feel so good in a long time, previously I was all about taxine poisoning (yew tree), but it just wasn't working for me and a pain to ingest.
Now I feel I can go through all this with sn.

Again I need to buy some more stuff, so I'm very stressed out, it will get better when I have everything safely in my possession I suppose.

Glad to see I'm not the only one feeling somehow liberated.
I'm a loner too, I just can't socialize somehow, I don't feel the need of if it since so long, I can't believe I reached 27 with all the shit and solitude I've been through all these years.
27 is a cool age to die IMHO, it just fits me, at least I can join the "cool people club", even if I'm some major failure.

May we all find our peace someway or another. SS will be my sanctuary until then.

Just got an invoice for my sn, it has been shipped, now praying.

hahahah i just got the invoice too! apcpure too?
It's funny how they tell you to go immediately to the hospital on skin contact but on eye contact, ingestion and inhalation just to consult a doctor lol

 

[Cookiedough8956]

I ordered the SN and primperan yesterday
And im just too damn impatient for it to come.
Im nervous and happy- like u OP.
More happy bc i cant stand to be here any more.
But ever since i was set upon ive been fantasizing everyday. How about you guys?

Im still scared not of dying but of the unknown and what will happen afterwards.

I do still work tho :/ it's so extremely hard and i just wanna be home. I wanna quit and get away from others.

But this is too easy. My parents dont notice anything, my bf doesnt, no one.
No one really cares ..
Even more of a motivation to do it

 

[dandan]

It's a relief to have N by my side, been thinking on storing it in the fridge. However it's hard to drink them now, it's good to read others have more willingness to do so, because on my shitty days I certainly do think so.

 

[RRH]

I'm relieved I have my N, but the thought of actually using it fills me with anxiety and guilt. Especially making final preparations.

 

[Roberto]

Can't wait until it comes, I fantasize every minute about my day coming. Finally a escape from this shitty life and world I've had to live in. When the night comes, everytime, the thoughts of "why I wasn't worth enough for them" and "why have I always been the one pointed at" haunt me. It's horrible.
I'm just a shy guy who wanted the best for everyone around me at all costs and they've abused me for that. Left in the ground, with a lot of lies told to me and a lot of lies being told about me, I'm sure a lot of people will be glad if they know I'm gone.
I have only one friend, he lives 200km apart from me and he has work and his own friends, and I quitted studies and work, so I'm alone 99,9% of the day. Bored in front of my pc reading every single post from here since I don't know what else to do. Would love to play something but I have no one and playing alone is boring for me now. Counting the days until I receive my packages and also I have to do a couple things more, but then I can finally rest.

I'm sorry if it's bad written, English isn't my strong language.
Anyway, AMA if you want so I can have at least some conversation.

Almost like you, but I make a course during mornings. About the games : the same.

 

[drakewantstogo]

I ordered the SN and primperan yesterday
And im just too damn impatient for it to come.
Im nervous and happy- like u OP.
More happy bc i cant stand to be here any more.
But ever since i was set upon ive been fantasizing everyday. How about you guys?

Im still scared not of dying but of the unknown and what will happen afterwards.

I do still work tho :/ it's so extremely hard and i just wanna be home. I wanna quit and get away from others.

But this is too easy. My parents dont notice anything, my bf doesnt, no one.
No one really cares ..
Even more of a motivation to do it

I fantasize a lot about the day. Thinking of going to an italian to eat some pasta, then go to the hotel and listen to my favs songs a last time until the night, take a shower, write a letter and start everything...

 

[Psilo]

hahahah i just got the invoice too! apcpure too?
It's funny how they tell you to go immediately to the hospital on skin contact but on eye contact, ingestion and inhalation just to consult a doctor lol
View attachment 9265

Apcpure

 

[drakewantstogo]

Apcpure

let's see how long does it takes to get here :)

 

[Psilo]

let's see how long does it takes to get here :)

This makes me seriously nervous, I hope the package isnt too revealing!!!


One hell of a Safety Data Sheet they send tho lol.

 

[drakewantstogo]

This makes me seriously nervous, I hope the package isnt too revealing!!!


One hell of a Safety Data Sheet they send tho lol.

yeah hahahah I posted a pic here about it. It's funny because they almost have no data to be honest

 

[Zamolxes]

Hey man,
I'm in the exact same position as you. Got everything I need for SN method though as every day creeps closer I'm becoming more and more nervous. What do you think the moments before trying to take the SN will be like?

Same here :) budhists meditate on visualising their death so I also done that frequently lately but I'm nervous about it and happy in a way I'll have a choice when chit gets unbearable Wich it will ....