anonymousapple
Member
- Jul 3, 2020
- 59
I don't have a family, and I don't have friends. Nothing holds my interest for longer than a week because of severe anhedonia. I have no way to meet anyone because I work full time now, and dating apps are trash (in the sense that you can get a lot of matches, but barely anyone is going to actually be capable of holding conversations)
It sucks because I'm actually a tall and fit dude, and I wouldn't say I'm hot, but I am probably a 6/10, so you'd think I wouldn't have a problem, but I'm so socially inept that it's unattractive. I have absolutely no charm, and worse, I'm half black and from my experience, every girl on these dating apps heavily prefers white guys.
The only things I have going for me are my huge level of empathy, my willingness to give a lot of attention, and my level of love and care I can hold for people, but... those seem to be things nobody is into anymore. Nobody is willing to give me the time it takes for me to warm up to them, and really, that's all I need, and my social ineptitude goes away for the most part and I can talk to them a lot more comfortably.
idk like, I don't want to die but I don't want to live because I'm going to have a permanently lonely existence and all my past experiences are going to continue to haunt me, I already have BPD, depression, anhedonia, manic depressive disorder, and anxiety of all kinds. I'm lucky I'm not going insane with schizophrenia yet.
It sucks because I'm actually a tall and fit dude, and I wouldn't say I'm hot, but I am probably a 6/10, so you'd think I wouldn't have a problem, but I'm so socially inept that it's unattractive. I have absolutely no charm, and worse, I'm half black and from my experience, every girl on these dating apps heavily prefers white guys.
The only things I have going for me are my huge level of empathy, my willingness to give a lot of attention, and my level of love and care I can hold for people, but... those seem to be things nobody is into anymore. Nobody is willing to give me the time it takes for me to warm up to them, and really, that's all I need, and my social ineptitude goes away for the most part and I can talk to them a lot more comfortably.
idk like, I don't want to die but I don't want to live because I'm going to have a permanently lonely existence and all my past experiences are going to continue to haunt me, I already have BPD, depression, anhedonia, manic depressive disorder, and anxiety of all kinds. I'm lucky I'm not going insane with schizophrenia yet.
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