It doesn't matter if I die today or tomorrow. It doesn't change anything. Just more shit. One more day doesn't make a difference. This sucks. I'm just doing time.
Deleted member 17331
The swan sang with a broken neck
- Apr 21, 2020
- 376
I feel that way too. It seems that my days are disputing about which one has been the worst so far.
Close_to_freedom
Why the long face? Cause I don’t wanna live here.
- May 19, 2020
- 418
Paraphrasing. "It doesn't matter if I die today or at 70. It'll still be me that's dying." -The Stranger
Mr2005
Don't shoot the messenger, give me the gun
- Sep 25, 2018
- 3,622
What do you care about? Something's keeping you here
Bct
Disqualified from Being Human
- Apr 20, 2020
- 419
Yeah, my future looks very bleak. I could just trying to survive till 65, but if I'm still lonely at that age, that will make me regret why I didn't just CTB when I was 26 since my life essentially was just the same.
TAW122
Emissary of the right to die.
- Aug 30, 2018
- 6,686
I can relate to this too. I am just staying alive until I get an opportunity to CTB all in the meantime while maintaining appearance and going through the motions o life. If I could go back in time, I'd CTB'd before this pandemic and before things in life really go to shit. Hindsight is 20/20 though.
MeriDeath
Im on the edge of reality
- May 10, 2020
- 213
Just hang on in there a bit, I hope the suffering will come to an end soon if you decide to go for it. True we live for nothing, let's make something out of this nothing because we're not gonna remember it anyways after we are dead. So let's try and make the best of what there is (or isn't) now. as much as you can. 
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This reminded me of a great song by the late Chris Cornell:
"Whatsoever I've feared has come to life
Whatsoever I've fought off became my life
Just when everyday seemed to greet me with a smile
Sunspots have faded and now I'm doing time
Now I'm doing time"
I feel the same way.
So cool that you know the song! Listening to it punches me right in the gut each time, both for his sake and mine.
SpottedPanda
I'm all about coffee and cigarettes
- Jul 24, 2019
- 612
I hardly call what I experience much of a life. I'm simply a person medically alive. I don't feel like I'm living. Death is a very attractive proposition right now.
Then I guess you also know Like a stone.
My personal favourite is I am the Highway.
Yes. I like both bands, Soundgarden and Audioslave. But the lyrics Chris wrote for Soundgarden are more suicidal I think (pretty noose, the day I tried to live, fell on black days, like suicide). All those lyrics are about what was happening inside his head.
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