I dont deserve to live.

[copioushopelessness]

I don't know where to even start. I have brain damage so even trying to find the words is hard.
I'm also severely chronically ill and sick and tired of being sick and tired.
I've made unforgivable mistakes that cost me everything.
I feel like the universe wants me to suffer for my missteps. Death would be mercy that I'm praying for. I don't know how to end this miserable existence. I hate who I've become. I've become completely non-functional. I'm getting sicker everyday. No one cares about me. No family. No friends.
God if you exist, release me from this suffering. Please forgive me. Have mercy on my soul.
Please protect my loved ones. I have failed them. I lost everything. If this is my "karma" like I've been told, then know I recognize it and don't need anymore. I recognize my failures. I'm suffering immensely.
I didnt want to become like those who've failed me.
I never stood a chance in this world.

 

[tonicer]

I feel the same. I am 42 now and i accomplished almost nothing. No job no girlfriend no money. I live with my mother and feel like a parasite. I studied IT but getting a job is borderline impossible. All the other people i have ever known have at least a job some even have a partner. I'm just here writing one job application after the other. I get to interviews sometimes but a few days later i get a rejected or (even worse) ghosted. Once my parents are both dead i have no reason to keep going.

 

[Baisley]

I'm sorry to hear you're suffering. I feel like you do and just want a way out. I feel like I failed my family and screwed everything in my life up. I just want you to know that you're not alone. I am sorry you're suffering so much.

 

[copioushopelessness]

I feel the same. I am 42 now and i accomplished almost nothing. No job no girlfriend no money. I live with my mother and feel like a parasite. I studied IT but getting a job is borderline impossible. All the other people i have ever known have at least a job some even have a partner. I'm just here writing one job application after the other. I get to interviews sometimes but a few days later i get a rejected or (even worse) ghosted. Once my parents are both dead i have no reason to keep going.

Hi, I'm sorry you're struggling.
I lost my parents and am lost without them. No support. I lost the people who mattered most to me.
I hope you can find employment.
I'm sorry you feel lonely.

I'm sorry to hear you're suffering. I feel like you do and just want a way out. I feel like I failed my family and screwed everything in my life up. I just want you to know that you're not alone. I am sorry you're suffering so much.

Thank you
I'm sorry you're also suffering.

 

[astroproto]

Among the reasons that make one "not deserve to live", being chronically ill is definitely not one of them. Your biology is not your fault.

 

[indianachrome]

i relate to your post alot. thanks for posting it

 

[copioushopelessness]

Among the reasons that make one "not deserve to live", being chronically ill is definitely not one of them. Your biology is not your fault.

Thank you. Being this sick is just very unfortunate.
I'm very upset with myself for mistakes I've made. I realize I didn't make a lot of those alone though. I feel like I've failed the only people who matter to me.
Whether I deserve to live or not, I don't want to. I feel like those who are truly suffering should be able to choose when to go.. I don't want to hurt the only one who still cares about me. I need this to end. I don't know how. I've been rapidly declining.

i relate to your post alot. thanks for posting it

I'm sorry that you can relate. I don't wish anyone to be in this state of pain and despair.