Venting I don't dare to ctb because of her

[Kikoo Loool]

My wife's just come back from the hospital. She'll start chemotherapy next week. I feel guilty of seeking means to catch the bus.

 

[suffering]

"Marry, and you will regret it; don't marry, you will also regret it; marry or don't marry, you will regret it either way. Laugh at the world's foolishness, you will regret it; weep over it, you will regret that too; laugh at the world's foolishness or weep over it, you will regret both. Believe a woman, you will regret it; believe her not, you will also regret it… Hang yourself, you will regret it; do not hang yourself, and you will regret that too; hang yourself or don't hang yourself, you'll regret it either way; whether you hang yourself or do not hang yourself, you will regret both. This, gentlemen, is the essence of all philosophy." - Søren Kierkegaard

 

[Cookiedough8956]

I think she needs tue support :(
You being her husband- you should be giving it to her. I know you really wanna CTB but this is a huge thing in her life right now and she needs you.

 

[Jean Améry]

"Marry, and you will regret it; don't marry, you will also regret it; marry or don't marry, you will regret it either way. Laugh at the world's foolishness, you will regret it; weep over it, you will regret that too; laugh at the world's foolishness or weep over it, you will regret both. Believe a woman, you will regret it; believe her not, you will also regret it… Hang yourself, you will regret it; do not hang yourself, and you will regret that too; hang yourself or don't hang yourself, you'll regret it either way; whether you hang yourself or do not hang yourself, you will regret both. This, gentlemen, is the essence of all philosophy." - Søren Kierkegaard

Nice quote. I can't say I've read Kierkegaard yet. Which book is this from?

My wife's just come back from the hospital. She'll start chemotherapy next week. I feel guilty of seeking means to catch the bus.

I you care about your wife at all you should be there for her. CTB after she's recovered or dead if that is still your wish at that point. You have an opportunity to do something great: set aside your wish to die to help someone else through a hard time. It's up to you whether to take it or not.

 

[suffering]

Nice quote. I can't say I've read Kierkegaard yet. Which book is this from?

I haven't read him neither, he seemed a little too mystical for my taste, but he still has a few good quotes. I don't know from what book that quote is from, I just found it online :(

 

[Funkbunny]

You don't dare for her, not because. Your life, your choice.

If you feel able to share, can I ask why your looking to ctb?

 

[JadedGray]

That's quite a dilemma. Plus, if you do the deed while she's getting chemo it could take her over the edge and the stress could affect her ability to get better. You could try to wait things out and see how it goes, as far as her surviving or passing. If she passes you'll be able to CTB without feeling guilty, and if she survives you can CTB with less guilt although, the stress of your passing could cause her to go into remission. I understand that when you're suicidal those feelings outdo any feelings of responsibility to anything else going on in your life and makes it impossible to wait any longer. Good luck whatever you decide.

 

[Kikoo Loool]

I don't give a damn anymore for this bitch. She used my name to take many credits and stole money from her employer, will be trialed next month. She doesn't deserve me to be worry for her.

On the road to catch the bus. I've found a partner and we are actively getting ready for it: buying SN and pills, renting a hotel room, booking a plane.

 

[sleepless]

I don't give a damn anymore for this bitch. She used my name to take many credits and stole money from her employer, will be trialed next month. She doesn't deserve me to be worry for her.

On the road to catch the bus. I've found a partner and we are actively getting ready for it: buying SN and pills, renting a hotel room, booking a plane.

I knew it wasn't that simple based on your first post, these things never are. I used to be caught in a similar situation, always end up thinking about the family, rather than my own feelings. But they always let me down. I have since given up on always putting their feelings first, and now I feel calmer and composed approaching my plans to CTB. Whatever it is, I wish you well on your journey.