Venting i didnt expect to feel this.. numb

[cheesefundamental]

todays my. last day, i think
ive been postponing it long enough, and the friends who kept calling me that lead me to postponing it, thankfully, didn't think to call today

i have almost everything ready, i just wanted to post my story on here, edit my suicide letter, and make sure my other ones are intact, take a shower, and then.. yeah.

but i slept through most of today. in the early morning, when i wake up, i get such a strong urge to do it
then i have to endure the day, and i grow more numb / apathetic towards the idea

i guess my motivations always been this way. ill wake up with all of these ideas, and things i want to do! then it'll go away.

im tired of my depression costing me everything. i hate that i couldn't even really have a properly fun, or eventful day, i argued with my ex then slept through all of it.
im so sick and tired. im so sick and i mso tired.

 

[sunsetintehwoods]

Sorry you feel this way, pal. I'm a lot of procrastinating last days too. Don't mark yourself with guilty - if you feel numb, may be it mean you are not ready and it's totally ok. Just take your time and pace

Hugs

 

[WornOutLife]

As @sunsetintehwoods said, just take your time and don't rush things. Death is waiting patienlty for all of us.

Send you lots of hugs and wish you peace!

 

[GarageKarate07]

todays my. last day, i think
ive been postponing it long enough, and the friends who kept calling me that lead me to postponing it, thankfully, didn't think to call today

i have almost everything ready, i just wanted to post my story on here, edit my suicide letter, and make sure my other ones are intact, take a shower, and then.. yeah.

but i slept through most of today. in the early morning, when i wake up, i get such a strong urge to do it
then i have to endure the day, and i grow more numb / apathetic towards the idea

i guess my motivations always been this way. ill wake up with all of these ideas, and things i want to do! then it'll go away.

im tired of my depression costing me everything. i hate that i couldn't even really have a properly fun, or eventful day, i argued with my ex then slept through all of it.
im so sick and tired. im so sick and i mso tired.

How old are you again? I think I asked last week?

 

[cheesefundamental]

How old are you again? I think I asked last week?

yeah, you did, 19

Sorry you feel this way, pal. I'm a lot of procrastinating last days too. Don't mark yourself with guilty - if you feel numb, may be it mean you are not ready and it's totally ok. Just take your time and pace

Hugs

As @sunsetintehwoods said, just take your time and don't rush things. Death is waiting patienlty for all of us.

Send you lots of hugs and wish you peace!

thank you guys, it really means a lot, i just feel so silly for not going through with it via depression when depression is. what caused it in the first place yknow?

 

[GarageKarate07]

yeah, you did, 19


thank you guys, it really means a lot, i just feel so silly for not going through with it via depression when depression is. what caused it in the first place yknow?

I though I did. Depression hurts. You feel good for a moment and then you feel like your suddenly in a dark cave. Some days you never leave the cave at all. You feel like you want to die but you kinda want to make an effort to not "waste a life". Mario had 99 lives and they were all used up on this bitch! (Insert Peach or Toadstool here). Many of us have over active minds and then you feel like you can conquer the world until one of your friends or loved ones talks and rhen all the gas just drains from the tank. You could talk to your ex about your ideas. Maybe she can give some advice that you didnt think of before? Maybe not.