Hypocrisy of Pro-lifers?

[ConfusedAndWeird]

I just had a realization that one of the inherent pro-life arguments has a very prominent bias against suicidal people. It's often said that suicide is wrong because "It will cause pain to your loved ones if you choose to end your life." However, let's say you said that you wanted to end your life because your own pain was intolerable. They would say something like "Not my problem, go talk to a psychiatrist or call a hotline or something." So my question is this. If it's suicidal people's responsibility to get help if they feel so much pain that they want to die, why isn't it the responsibility of those left behind in a suicide to come to terms with their loss?

I think it's hypocritical. If one of us "falls apart" and becomes unable to cope with living, it's our fault for not putting in enough effort to fix it, but at the same time, if someone else "falls apart" because of the person's suicide, it's still the fault of the one who chose to end their life, even if it's likely that person would have died within the life time of those left behind if it wasn't by suicide. Allegedly the fact that the death is by suicide arbitrarily makes it worse than one by natural causes and that's the reason why this is the case.

My point is that it makes absolutely no sense that we're supposedly responsible, not only for our own well being, but for the well-being of everyone else. And I may sound callous when I say this, but I don't feel any guilt if anyone else falls apart after I ctb. Oftentimes, people will say that if a romantic partner uses suicide as a threat to get things from you, it is abusive because it tries to coerce you to being solely responsible for both your own well being and your partners. So I view similar "Well if you die, I'll suffer and my life will be ruined" threats as extremely similar and I think that in that sense, prolifers place way too much responsibility on those who want to die, especially considering how much they have to suffer to reach that point in the first place.

I know my family would probably fall apart and my friends would be sad if I left, but it's not my problem, just like my own problems were never their responsibility and they didn't feel like they needed to fix them in a way we could both agree upon. My problems are my problems and their problems are theirs. We're all responsible for our own wellbeing and if that's true then it's also true we can have freedom on how we choose to preserve it. I choose to CTB for my own peace of mind and to protect myself from all further suffering. If what I do with my own body causes mental distress to other people, then their distress is not my responsibility and they can deal with it using the method of their choice.

 

[BottomlessPit]

Very well written, I agree with you. Thank you for posting this.

 

[WornOutLife]

Yes, I totally agree with you, except that I can't deal with the fact of destroying my dad's life because I love him very much.
As for the rest of the people surrounding me, I don't give a damn.

 

[FuneralCry]

I agree. I think the way that pro lifers are comes from a lack of understanding as they haven't been suicidal themselves. They cannot comprehend what it is like to be in so much pain to want to end your life. They will therefore say 'it will cause pain to your loved ones' as they are looking at it from an purely selfish perspective. The truth is nobody asked to exist, so it isn't like anyone has an obligation to stay alive.

 

[azazel_djinn]

Basically you have to deal with it so they don't have to deal with it.

 

[motel rooms]

 

[Pen>Sword]

Great insight. Suicide solves all of the personal problems, and should be accessible and respected. Only we know what pain is like for us. People gotta understand us and let us be without a risk of being put on PSYCH ward.

 

[TheAmazingCriswell]

Imagine a team sport where one of the team members is more hindering than helpful, whether due to lack of ability, talent or merely interest.
If he continues to play, his teammates will accuse him of weakening their team; if he quits, they will accuse him of the same.
No matter what he does, he can not win, but neither can his teammates; they play a pointless game without rules that ultimately knows no winners.
The crux is that his teammates are unaware of this.

Besides, every single thing one does alters the world and consequently has an influence on other people (butterfly effect).
If we take this logic ("It is your responsibility to act in your own best interest and it is your responsibility to not infringe upon the best interest of others") to the extreme, everyone is responsible for everyone else at the same time, which, coupled with the fact above, ultimately means that you are not allowed to do anything if you want to act responsibly.
(I might, of course, be overthinking these matters...)