Totally_nothin

Totally_nothin

Member
Apr 26, 2021
30
in short, at 8:00 I left my city, at 9:00 he was in a "city with a large bridge", at 10:00 I was standing on a bridge, looking 70 meters down on houses and people, my hands were resting on the railing, and my tears were slowly dripping to the ground, and even though I really wanted to jump and was determined to do it, for some reason I couldn't, so after 20 minutes I turned around and just went home where I had to explain to the people around me, where I was and try to dont tell them that i tried to kill myself, and I sincerely regret that I couldn't do it

Ikona Ověřeno komunitou
 
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nopointofliving

nopointofliving

Warrior
Apr 19, 2021
513
It's ok, don't be hard on yourself! It wasn't the right time. Hugs <3
 
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W

Wisdom3_1-9

he/him/his
Jul 19, 2020
1,954
It's all okay. I'm sorry that 1) you feel so down about life, 2) you had to go through that experience, and 3) you experienced the discomfort of having to talk about it/cover it up with family members. On the plus side, I might say this…

Not going through with it is likely a sign of one of two things. 1) As low as you feel, you may not be ready to take your own life. You may still harbor hope, and that hope might actually be genuine. Perhaps there needs to be some more thought around the idea. 2) You May not be fully on board with the method. Jumping from such a height, though it comes with a high success rate, is still a pretty violent method. You may be someone who finds comfort or motivation in a more peaceful method.

Just some thoughts. In any case, know that as someone who has been in your position before (standing on the bridge, looking down and imagining), I feel for you and wish you comfort and peace.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
37,036
It is really hard to die, if only we could pass away peacefully if we wanted to. I think sometimes we want to die but our survival instinct stops us, it is the way our brains are wired. I wish you the best, we all deserve to find peace.
 
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WornOutLife

マット
Mar 22, 2020
7,164
It's okay, dear.
You did your best. CTB is not something easy to do.

Just take your time, try to relax and decide what to do little by little.

As regards me, I still want to ctb but I don't wanna rush things. I think that's the key.

Whatever happens, wish you lots of love and peace!

Hugs,

Matt
 

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