10 genuine attempts with partial, countless chicken-outs. I'd either fail to properly occlude my arteries, as I likely wasn't putting enough weight into it. Or I'd back out just before I lost consciousness, usually during the symptoms of artery occlusion like mild convulsions in the extremities, tingling in my hands and arms, lightheadedness, tunnel vision/static-y vision, distorted hearing, confusion, pressure in my chest.
I then switched to full hanging and gave it around a dozen "tries", but I could never summon the balls required to kick the stool over (I don't count the FSH "attempts" as real attempts, since nothing happened and I never actually tried). It was simply too brutal to have my entire body weight on my neck. I might be able to pull it off if I was desperate, but I'm not.
Now I've switched to SN, and I'm damn sure I can pull it off even if I have some hesitation (which is natural and to be expected ofc). You just drink a salty liquid and wait it out. There's a reason why ODs on meds and poisonings are so common (in the US, about 60% of suicide attempts are poisonings, mostly from medication ODs which are usually unsuccessful). It's much easier SI wise to take something by mouth than to commit body envelope violations with physical methods like hanging.
But yeah, SI is indeed a massive bitch. I saw a joke here on the forum, maybe like 6-8 months ago, that was about how our survival instinct may have come about. I forget how the joke went exactly so I apologize, but basically because our earliest ancestor billions of years ago - a single celled blob - ran away from danger, we are now here having to contend with a highly evolved and highly tuned survival instinct. Fuck that blob.
) where I chickened out. And I'm honestly a bit worried that I'll do it again now. SI is a bitch... 
