Housebound

[NeverEndingPain]

How do you get help if you are housebound and scared to leave your house in a mental health crisis?
I am scared. I haven't been outside in a VERY long time. I'm too ashamed to even say how long it's been.
I'm getting to where I can't eat and can barely leave my bedroom. I live alone and have no one
Note: I'm also embarrassed for anyone to see me and scared to be put in hospital away from my safe place. I have so many things wrong with me mentally. I know I can't continue to live this way. I'm so scared of a different environment and being around people
I'm scared of not having my bed and things or who will look after my house if I'm not here. I'm going to pass out soon from not being able to eat. I have food, I just can't even swallow it without feeling sick. I'm really scared. I can't even ctb because I'm too scared of that too. I feel so trapped with no escape. Help me please I feel so embarrassed that I went this long. I'm in my bed shaking right now. I live in a small town and don't want anyone to see how I've let myself go. Not being able to take care of my hygiene very well and can barely dress myself. I walk all wobbly with shaking legs and tremble all over. I know I've had a nervous breakdown

 

[jodes2]

Have you seen a psychiatrist??

 

[NeverEndingPain]

Have you seen a psychiatrist??

No. I'm housebound with agoraphobia and have not been able to get help. I literally haven't stepped outside in over a year… more than that
I can't keep living this way but I'm too scared to be taken from my home

 

[hopeless302]

I'm sorry to hear you're in this situation. Firstly, please don't be embarrassed. What you're going through is a lot, but it's not your fault. If people judge you for hygiene, the way you dress or how you walk when you're in the midst of a CRISIS then their opinions are not worth your time. I know that's easier said than done, but it's still true.
Now, I don't know what resources are available in your town at the moment, but please reach out to whatever support services you can find. It really sounds like part of you still wants things to improve and is not ready to give up yet. I can't promise that any of what they do will help, or that they won't try to take you from your home, but I hope you at least try. You deserve to not be trapped alone at home all the time.

 

[noaccount]

Hey have you thrown up when you've tried to eat recently? It can be important to eat something, anything, even if you feel nauseous, just so that your body has enough energy later - as long as you can keep it down that's something. I have also bribed myself with alcohol beforehand or ciggs afterwards to get through eating when it was hard to tolerate, maybe not the healthiest thing but the most important thing is to not starve. Do you have money to order maybe some nutritional shakes or something?

Re: your house, is there rent you're worried about falling behind on? I wouldn't want you to get made to go anywhere you don't want either. What kind of help would you be looking for?

 

[SectOfValtiel]

i see my therapist through zoom calls, no cam unless its important for treatment (and rarely is), and honestly thats a huge reason im even still seeing him- if it had to be in person i would have quit years ago like i did the first time i started therapy
the only time i ever went there in person was to do the initial paperwork but even my first therapist with them was all through phone sessions
so its definitely worth looking into, you might not necessarily need to even leave the house to get set up with someone

 

[UtopianElephant]

Sorry to read that you've been struggling so much. Do you think that fear is the main culprit in your life, and what would happen if you experienced significantly less of it?

It's possible to suffer less from fear / anxiety by fighting it head-on, so to speak. There are techniques that one can do, step by step, to get to that better mental place. One of such things is acceptance of thoughts and feelings, and 'fighting them' by not fighting them. Do you think you would like to try to overcome your fears and other mental struggles, or have you made peace with your situation? I could be wrong, but from your post it seems like you would like to improve your well-being, and it is just fears and problems making it so difficult to do that.

One of the first things you should try to do is to face your fear / discomfort while eating. Just accept that you may not succeed, and try to eat anyway. Accept whatever may or may not happen, and do it anyway. Whatever uncomfortable thoughts enter your mind while you are doing it, accept them and continue what you were doing.

Edit: same concept with other fears and anxieties you have. Start tackling your fears of being out in public and around other people and away from your house through small steps, fully accepting that you may fail. Allow yourself a couple of days to just get to your front door, be next to it. Then perhaps open it. THen, in a day or two, open it and step outside. Then walk around your house a few times.

Something important that you have to understand is that you are not truly alone, there are people that care about you and are rooting for you, even on this site, because the vast majority of us struggle as humans at some parts of our lives. That struggle brings out care and compassion in at least some of us toward others.

 

[Pluto]

I know that the fear is immense, and everyone will agree that people are a bit scary, but what is needed is a push to break new ground.

All of your thoughts are self-limiting and self-affirming. They act like an invisible magnet keeping you trapped in the same place. I've been a trainer, and every single one of my students had times where they doubted that they could achieve their goal. And yet, each one eventually did. So this message is a gentle but firm push for change.

You might start by going for a walk around the block at night when no one's around. Then, perhaps, visiting a library to read a book by yourself for half an hour. Then it might be time to visit a doctor for some anti-anxiety meds. After that, you will be ready for the big-time.

 

[Misery99]

How do you get help if you are housebound and scared to leave your house in a mental health crisis?
I am scared. I haven't been outside in a VERY long time. I'm too ashamed to even say how long it's been.
I'm getting to where I can't eat and can barely leave my bedroom. I live alone and have no one
Note: I'm also embarrassed for anyone to see me and scared to be put in hospital away from my safe place. I have so many things wrong with me mentally. I know I can't continue to live this way. I'm so scared of a different environment and being around people
I'm scared of not having my bed and things or who will look after my house if I'm not here. I'm going to pass out soon from not being able to eat. I have food, I just can't even swallow it without feeling sick. I'm really scared. I can't even ctb because I'm too scared of that too. I feel so trapped with no escape. Help me please I feel so embarrassed that I went this long. I'm in my bed shaking right now. I live in a small town and don't want anyone to see how I've let myself go. Not being able to take care of my hygiene very well and can barely dress myself. I walk all wobbly with shaking legs and tremble all over. I know I've had a nervous breakdown

Your post reminds me so much of myself. About being scared of interacting with people and having agoraphobia. It's such a dark place to be in. Sending you hugs

 

[NeverEndingPain]

There's no help for me. I'm going to end up in the psych hospital and I'm scared so bad what my life will be like after.
Thank you to all who replied. I have to decide today if I call for help. If I don't then I will be calling an ambulance cause I'm that weak
I wish I had the courage to hang myself. I've spent months researching and asking questions and have my set up. What the fuck is stopping me?!!!
I'm scared to die that's what is stopping me. How do I overcome that fear ?!!!!
How??!!!!

For anyone who wants to know. I'm 45/F. Both my parents are deceased and I'm an only child. I wish I had my mom right now

 

[noaccount]

Hey good luck - if you don't say anything about suicidal thoughts, wanting to ctb, or wanting to self-harm in any way - they're more likely to provided you with actual help around the food/eating and physical sick-feeling issues. Are you worried about losing your housing rent-wise while possibly in a hospital?

There are also peer respites (free!) where you may be able to stay for a while - these are voluntary so you can leave whenever you want - if you google "[Your state] peer respites."

 

[deathbylife]

Hey good luck - if you don't say anything about suicidal thoughts, wanting to ctb, or wanting to self-harm in any way - they're more likely to provided you with actual help around the food/eating and physical sick-feeling issues. Are you worried about losing your housing rent-wise while possibly in a hospital?

There are also peer respites (free!) where you may be able to stay for a while - these are voluntary so you can leave whenever you want - if you google "[Your state] peer respites."

This is great. I didn't know about this and I have been involved with almost every community mental health program I can find in my state (IN) with no luck. There aren't any of these that I can find for Indiana yet, but I am stubborn. Also, like many people here, I will NEVER submit myself to another voluntary inpatient program at another community mental health center. So every suggestion is golden. Thank you very much. P. S. Anyone else with suggestions? I have been in a similar situation since May 2019. Housebound entirely for one and a half years, still don't go out unless I have to, crying all the time. Angry at everyone and everything. Survival instinct prevents immediate suicide so if it happens it will probably be impulse. Thank you everyone, and I don't honestly have any more energy to give out but please help the OP, they need us to show them that there's no shame in not being ok

 

[noaccount]

You can lie and say you're a resident of another state if you want to try going to one in another state - they may not ask for proof.

And yeah it's really sickening that even in this pro-choice space for survivors we have people like "hiddenbpd" talking about how they personally were justified in forcing drugs into the bodies of psychiatric inmates. She wrote that she had previously forcibly drugged inmates against their will, mocked me for sharing the U.N. Human Rights Commission documents in which doing that is identified as torture / cruel and degrading treatment and a violation of the Rights Of People With Disabilities treaty, and sent me unsolicited DMs saying things like:

We implement something called least invasive. If the patient takes the medication with encouragement, great no force. If they don't, the amount of force needed increases.

 

[another@]

Hello. Sources of co-dependency articles, like hidden mental illnesses of peers, or just general maliciousness that may have led you to this point, helped me. Idk if I will recover, but I'd like to. If you're interested in dm'ing me, it might help to make a few social connections.

You can lie and say you're a resident of another state if you want to try going to one in another state - they may not ask for proof.

And yeah it's really sickening that even in this pro-choice space for survivors we have people like "hiddenbpd" talking about how they personally were justified in forcing drugs into the bodies of psychiatric inmates. She wrote that she had previously forcibly drugged inmates against their will, mocked me for sharing the U.N. Human Rights Commission documents in which doing that is identified as torture / cruel and degrading treatment and a violation of the Rights Of People With Disabilities treaty, and sent me unsolicited DMs saying things like:

That's fucked up. I have had some experiences from psychiatric wards, they're a major source of PTSD and depression. It must be said that many of the people who work in such places are psychos that get off to power over the weak and disenfranchized. Unfortunately some use the system to control people that they abuse. To anyone reading this: please understand when I say that you want to avoid these types at all costs. Fates worse than death do indeed exist, and you'd be wise not to ignore that fact while you still can.

 

[Himalayan]

How do you get help if you are housebound and scared to leave your house in a mental health crisis?
I am scared. I haven't been outside in a VERY long time. I'm too ashamed to even say how long it's been.
I'm getting to where I can't eat and can barely leave my bedroom. I live alone and have no one
Note: I'm also embarrassed for anyone to see me and scared to be put in hospital away from my safe place. I have so many things wrong with me mentally. I know I can't continue to live this way. I'm so scared of a different environment and being around people
I'm scared of not having my bed and things or who will look after my house if I'm not here. I'm going to pass out soon from not being able to eat. I have food, I just can't even swallow it without feeling sick. I'm really scared. I can't even ctb because I'm too scared of that too. I feel so trapped with no escape. Help me please I feel so embarrassed that I went this long. I'm in my bed shaking right now. I live in a small town and don't want anyone to see how I've let myself go. Not being able to take care of my hygiene very well and can barely dress myself. I walk all wobbly with shaking legs and tremble all over. I know I've had a nervous breakdown

Go out for a run. No one can judge you for exercising, and you will lose a bit of that fear

 

[kawaiiphantom]

I'm the same I can't leave my room at all. I get so anxious. I hate myself for it I haven't seen the people I live with in a while I just want to cry. I also having hard time leaving bed. Iknow it's very difficult to go through sending loves