I was kinda suicidal and had homicidal thoughts the whole day and now I'm kinda chill? I know I shouldn't ask for diagnosing or anything but do I have bipolar?? I was never diagnosed for it and this is the first time I'm feeling like this. Did I just crack like a wallnut or some crap? like really now I'm all just chill and cool for no reason now, I'm kinda chill chill you know? thanks in advance ppl :D This might seem like I'm intentionally doing it and faking it but I just feel bad not putting the little :D there look at the little guy :D I'm fucking cracked aren't I , fuck me, NO I am not putting one again I deleted it, and now I feel ashamed :( what the hell is going on with me?? I AM GENUIENLY ASKING AND I AM NOT SCARED WHILE TYPING THIS BUT I WANT TO ATTRACT SOME ATTENTION because right now I just want to hug people??????? I even talked to my alcoholic parent and they were piss drunk, like piss piss drunk and normally I'd confront them over the phone and it would devolve into an argument but I didn't? and I don't feel bad about it? Help?? HELP HELP? I really can't be mad at anything now. Where has this feeling been my whole life, I am legit asking since I've never felt like this ever.
NormallyNeurotic
Everything is going to be okay ⋅ he/him
- Nov 21, 2024
- 368
There are plenty of disorders that might cause something like this. Bipolar, sure. Borderline Personality Disorder also has euphoric-to-dysphoria spikes, and they're typically faster than bipolar. Did anything trigger this?
Well I was feeling bad, extremely bad but now in the last 30 minutes I've been feeling pretty well!
In the last 3-4 days I've been feeling more down than usual, even more down than when I feel down down, honestly, if I had any chance to go through CTB it would've been about an hour and a half ago, honest.
But now I feel okay, even when talking to the parent that abused me and even typing this now, I don't really care, I just feel whatever. (about that situation) Thanks for taking the time to type. I have no clue because as honest as possible, I haven't felt like this in YEARS, I'm not even joking, it's been YEARS since I felt remotely like this. I don't do drugs or alcohol or cigarettes or anything, I didn't sugar overdose or anything like that.
I have no clue what I did that triggered this but as I said before this moment I had 4 of the worst days of my life, I couldn't sleep for hours, I was wishing for death 24/7.
It's not the first time that I had days like this but I usually slowly get back into "normality" where I'm just grumpy all the time, I never went from one extreme to the other like ever.
Manaaja
euROPE
- Sep 10, 2018
- 1,610
It sounds like your brain is going through so much at once that it kinda can't keep up and gives up. It's too full. You sound like you are extremely scared and stressed, and your brain copes by being random and thinking about random things and doing random things.
I honestly suggest trying not to think about anything for a while. Try to make yourself feel safe. Pretend you don't know any languages. Don't react to words and thoughts. Let thoughts come and go.
It can be really hard, but try to choose your brain.
I honestly suggest trying not to think about anything for a while. Try to make yourself feel safe. Pretend you don't know any languages. Don't react to words and thoughts. Let thoughts come and go.
It can be really hard, but try to choose your brain.
Have no clue what it was but I'm back to normal-ish, it ended about half an hour ago when the feeling of being chill completely subsided. Problem is, intrusive thoughts and vivid imagination has taken place (which hasn't done so in about 4 months and a half or around that much, I really remember last time that I got them being early summer) and I'm fighting them very hard because they are insanely intense and disturbing:/ (as always when they happen, they are rage inducing)
I could give a doctor another shot, maybe explain the 3 hours of calm that I have today followed by intrusive thoughts but still no suicidal ideation or extreme depression that I had yesterday/12 hours ago, haven't really been treated or diagnosed for anything but ADHD/depression also have autism test done and many hours of therapy that did nothing, I mean the only meds that I didn't try and are available is lamictal from what I know, it's kinda like the last med that I haven't given a shot. That is available here that is.
Also by the time I finished writing these like 200 words, 15 minutes passed and the thoughts have thankfully subsided, really wish they'd never show up again.
I could give a doctor another shot, maybe explain the 3 hours of calm that I have today followed by intrusive thoughts but still no suicidal ideation or extreme depression that I had yesterday/12 hours ago, haven't really been treated or diagnosed for anything but ADHD/depression also have autism test done and many hours of therapy that did nothing, I mean the only meds that I didn't try and are available is lamictal from what I know, it's kinda like the last med that I haven't given a shot. That is available here that is.
Also by the time I finished writing these like 200 words, 15 minutes passed and the thoughts have thankfully subsided, really wish they'd never show up again.
